#vaggie is SUCH a good friend

[deadgirlwalking91]

new #guitarspear one-shot in collab with @branded-rose 'drunk minds speak sober thoughts' 🎸 🗡️

Summary

Adam’s eyes widened as they darted back to the bar. Sure enough, the mystery exorcist that Vaggie had been talking to was now fully facing the stage, eyes frantically peering through the crowd and - oh, holy shit.

Lute held in her hand the universal vessel of a good time: a red, plastic party cup.

“No fucking way,” he muttered, grinning maniacally.

Lute didn’t drink. At least, not outside the comfort of her own home to the best of his knowledge. Now, this he had to see.

~~~

At the post-Extermination Day party, Lute decides she's had enough of watching Adam get drunk and make a fool of himself year after year while she watches on, sober as a judge. She decides it's her turn to have a little fun of her own, but soon realises that her drunken antics come with their own set of consequences that can't be ignored. OR;

Lute gets drunk, Adam tries to be responsible and all Vaggie wants to do is be a good friend.

Author's Notes

Diiiiiiiid somebody say collab??? Because when branded-rose and I connected over our mutual love for Adam and Lute, we sure as hell did!

We had plans to write a 'short' one-shot, which ended up kiiiiiinda escalating... big time. And we couldn't be more excited to share it with you all! Speaking of sharing, branded-rose created some beautiful art to accompany our story, which can be found here. Before you scroll down, CLICK THAT LINK and give her ALL the love for her work! Also, Lute looks SO pretty!

Only warning is that this is long (18,000+ words), and we haven't split it up purely because it was only ever meant to be a one-shot and we want to keep it that way.

To my wonderful co-author: writing this with you has been the MOST FUN. Internet friends freaking RULE. Thank you <3

So buckle up, buttercups and enjoy! ***

The music was loud. The people around her were loud. Everything was LOUD. 

Lute could almost hear herself think. Almost. 

Then again, she was never really big on the Victory concerts.

The last thing she wanted to do after an extermination was watch Adam and the other girls get drunk and toss themselves at each other. Toss themselves at him.

Normally, she’d have no issue competing with the other girls. However, she wouldn’t when they were drunk out of their minds. That was no competition. 

Every year, they went through this. Every year, she reluctantly took part and never drank anything. 

Why would she? There was no point.

Well, usually, there was no point. Today though? She was starting to have second thoughts. Especially as she caught their boss flirting with several of the exorcists on the stage.

Like he did every year. 

“You actually gonna drink?” Vaggie walked up, nodding to the plastic cup in her sworn sister’s hand.

Lute puffed her cheeks, drumming her fingers against the cup in question.

“Just… wine.” She glanced down at the liquid, her already furrowed brows dropping lower. 

Vaggie eyed the red cup skeptically. “You, uh… you’re sure?”

Lute shot Vaggie a look, bringing the cup to her lips and taking a large sip to prove a point.

She held the liquid in her mouth for a second, debating if she wanted to actually swallow before stubbornness won out.

It was just one glass of wine.

Vaggie raised a brow, unconvinced. Sure, it wasn’t unlike Lute to have a glass here and there in the comfort of her own home. But this wasn’t her own home. This was a loud party. 

One their maniac of a boss was throwing.

Normally, Lute would stand in a corner and glare at anyone and EVERYONE before she ushered their idiot commander home for the night.

Not something she would personally do herself but who was she to judge?

“You’re sure?” Vaggie sighed and took a sip from her own cup, turning to face the party.

Lute’s eyes scanned the crowd, her jaw clenching as she realized she’d lost sight of Adam.

He was probably off doing body shots again. Great.

She knocked the rest of her drink back, something that very clearly caught Vaggie off guard.

Lute ignored the wide-eyed expression her sworn sister shot her, turning back to the bar and getting herself more wine.

“Ooookay- this isn’t… typical of you.” Vaggie moved to stand next to her, concern growing.

Lute ignored her again.

“Especially not after an ex-” She cut herself off when Lute once more knocked the drink back, downing the wine in the plastic cup like it was a shot glass.

“-termination…” Vaggie had no words.

She continued to stare at her comrade with a mixture of concern and pure horror as she watched her slam yet another glass of wine after that.

If it was ANYONE else she might not have cared. Because this was Lute? She had to have some level of concern.

It wasn’t as if the lieutenant was… the most easy going of exorcists. She had VERY strict standards that she held herself to.

And she was also borderline INSANE.

Lute had downed a solid five drinks by that point, quickly and without mercy.

Her cheeks started to flush gold, the flashing lights and pounding music not nearly as intrusive as they had been moments ago.

She very briefly caught sight of Adam near the stage as she turned around, having a great time with Layla. 

That bitch.

She grit her teeth, suddenly remembering why it was exactly she had felt compelled to drink in the first place.

Turning back to the bar, she requested something harder, much to Vaggie’s surprise.

Adam fucking loved the annual Victory concert. The babes. The booze. The beats. It didn’t matter which direction he looked, he was surrounded by the result of another successful Extermination Day.

He’d managed a new personal best this year, too. Four hundred and eleven.

Four hundred and eleven bottles of hard liquor that were expertly raided from the degenerate entertainment venues of Hell by his specialist task-force of exorcists.

Personally assigned by the first man himself, their sole job during the last hour of Extermination Day was to storm the copious bars and clubs that lurked in the shadiest districts of the Pride Ring and confiscate the alcohol that lined the top shelves of such fine establishments.

Adam’s definition of confiscate, however, was to transport the goods back up to Heaven for their yearly balls-to-the-wall bender where everyone would trade in their usual wine for the hard stuff they could only get their hands on at the post-extermination rager.

Wine glasses were a rare sight at the event, the partygoers opting instead for red party cups or plastic shot glasses, filled with whatever they’d managed to pilfer from Hell that year. Adam’s drink of choice were body shots - the type of liquor unimportant - off whichever exorcist volunteered to be his own personal bar counter.

The best part? Everybody was one hundred and ten percent down with the party. Inhibitions, dignity and modesty were left at the door by all before entering, almost like they were being checked into some sort of moral cloakroom.

Once the celebrations eventually wrapped up the deviant revelers would emerge, spend the following days nursing wicked hangovers and then return to their usual heavenly selves, ready to repeat it all the next year.

Well, almost everybody did, anyway. Everybody except Lute.

Adam peered out into the crowd, squinting through the bright lights as he tried to locate his lieutenant. She wasn’t leaning against the back wall, arms crossed, scowling at everybody else dabbling in their one night of debauchery. She certainly wasn’t on the dance floor - the current song playing was an apparently popular R&B tune from Earth where the only appropriate dance move was to grind rhythmically against another person’s hips.

Lute did not grind.

At least, not to his knowledge.

His eyes flickered over to the bar, where Vaggie was standing next to another exorcist who’s side profile he couldn’t quite make out - though whoever it was, they were taking a damn long time to drink from their cup. He could have smashed three shots by now. 

Speaking of…

He flagged down Layla, one of his favorite angels to party with post-extermination. A brunette mega-babe, she made everybody’s heads turn whenever she strolled down the promenade. 

She flashed him a million-dollar smile and sashayed her way over. 

They had an annual tradition that was yet to be honored this year, something they’d dubbed the ‘Victory Shot’.

Layla loved body shots almost as much as Adam did. Possibly more. Sometimes she did them off the other exorcists, other times she was the body. Rarely was she a spectator.

Layla was the epitome of a good time.

“The usual, sir?” She grinned, expertly balancing a clear shot, salt shaker and lime wedge in one hand, other resting on her cocked hip . He returned the smile, placing a hand on her waist as he leant in to answer her.

“You know it, sugartits.” 

Layla’s laugh rang in his ears as she nestled the shot glass between her cleavage, sprinkled salt over the top of one of her tits and balanced the lime wedge on the other.

“Here’s to another killer year!” she cheered, shaking her hair off her shoulders and sticking her chest out in Adam’s direction. 

“Fuck yeah, babe!” Adam tightened his grip around her waist and licked the salt clean off her skin. Wasting no time, he wrapped his mouth around the rim of the glass and lifted it out from between her breasts, tilting his head back so the liquid slid down his throat in one smooth motion. He removed the glass from his lips and promptly replaced it with the lime wedge, sucking hard until no more juice remained and the burn from his throat eased. Layla held her hand out for a high-five, which he returned eagerly.

“Ahh, good shit. Thanks babe.” He crooked an elbow around her neck and pressed a brief kiss to the side of her head affectionately before strolling towards the wings of the stage, remembering what he was doing before he got distracted.

“Hey, you haven’t seen Lute around have you? Or has she bitched out already?” he yelled back to Layla over the pounding music.She laughed again and pointed to where Adam had seen Vaggie standing moments earlier.

“Check the bar, she’s in for a good night I think.” 

Adam’s eyes widened as they darted back to the bar. Sure enough, the mystery exorcist that Vaggie had been talking to was now fully facing the stage, eyes frantically peering through the crowd and - oh, holy shit. Layla wasn’t kidding.

Lute held in her hand the universal vessel of a good time: a red, plastic party cup.

“No fucking way,” he muttered, grinning maniacally.

Lute didn’t drink. At least, not outside the comfort of her own home to the best of his knowledge. Now, this he had to see.

“I… don’t know if this is-“ Vaggie began, attempting to dissuade her sworn sister from making a big mistake. 

Lute waved her hand in front of the other’s face, cutting her off as she raised the cup to her lips.

“How I choose to party shouldn’t be your fucking problem.” She hissed, raising the drink to her lips and attempting to knock it back.

She could not knock it back, instead spitting it out onto the floor in front of her.

“The fuck! That tastes like paint stripper!!!!”

“Diiiiiiiiiid somebody say stripper?” Adam grinned, leaning sloppily against the bar counter.

“What are you doing to my lieutenant, Vagasaurous? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, if you’re gonna corrupt her with your pussy-loving powers, call me-“

“Oh, go fuck a cheese grater, would you?” Vaggie rolled her eyes and leaned towards Lute so Adam couldn’t hear. “Need me to stick around? He seems like he’ll be especially painful tonight.”

“I heard that!” Adam protested, leaning over to check the contents of Lute’s cup. “What are you drinking, Dangertits? Not water again?” He plucked it out of her hand and took a sip.

Ooooh. That burned. And not the good kind of burn. Whoever swiped that from one of Hell’s bars missed the memo where he specified top shelf booze only. They’d be running laps on Monday as punishment once he found the exorcist responsible for bringing petrol back up to Heaven.

“Nope. Can confirm that’s not water.” He shuddered and set the cup on the bar.

“Finally having a drink, Lute? Rude of you not to ask me to pop your cherry."

Lute narrowed her eyes at him. “Sir, we have had a drink together before.”

“Not like this, Lutey!” He threw his arms around both girls’ shoulders and squeezed them tightly.

“This is gonna be legend-fucking-dary!”

Lute froze, her arms pinned firmly to her sides.

“Ugh, gross. Nope. Not happening.” Vaggie twisted out of his grip, spilling most of her drink on herself in the process.

“Oh, chillax, Vag. Look, I’ll pour you both a drink, here.” Adam released Lute from his death grip, who’s face had turned the exact same shade of gold as the stage lights. He vaulted the bar counter, stumbling slightly upon his landing.

The bartender gave him a filthy look. Adam didn’t care. It wasn’t like the bartender had organized the booze. He leered at them until they skulked off to serve another exorcist.

“Right - what have we got here that’s virgin-friendly?” He eyed a half-full bottle of vodka. Perfect.

Not too hard for a baby drinker like Lute, but enough to help her relax. Loosen her up a bit. Maybe even enough for a cheeky dance later, if he was lucky.

Vaggie turned away from Adam and the bar, once more attempting to offer Lute an out. She suspected though, the lieutenant wasn’t going to take it.

“You can still back out and call it a night. No one is gonna think any less of you if you bail early.”

Lute scoffed at the notion that she’d need to back out. She shot Vaggie a look.

“You’re overreacting.” She went to raise her abandoned cup to her mouth, only to think better of it when she remembered the taste, and the fact that Adam had drank from it.

Vaggie’s eyebrow twitched.

”I’m overreacting? Lute, you’ve just knocked back five glasses of wine in under ten minutes and now our sleazy boss is here to keep you company. REAAAALLY don’t think I’m overreacting here.”

“Well you are.” Lute slammed her hand down on the counter.

Vaggie eyed the hand Lute had slammed on the counter, sighing exasperated. She pinched the bridge of her nose, weighing out whether or not this whole argument was worth her life.

On one hand, she hated the thought of just leaving Lute in the gross incapable wandering hands of their boss.

On the other… She didn’t feel like it was necessarily worth it lingering either. Especially when Lute was the first person to kiss up to said gross incapable boss.

Didn’t mean she deserved to get taken advantage of. Or WORSE. She’d get drunk and start punching people.

Then all the exorcists would be put through it Monday morning.

“Fine, you wanna drink yourself silly for whatever reason? Do it. But you know where to find me if you need me.” Vaggie turned away from the bar, making her way out into the crowd to try and enjoy herself as best she could the remainder of the night.

Lute hissed as she watched Vaggie go, her eyes narrowing. 

How DARE her. The audacity.

She could have a good time! She could cut loose! …If she wanted to.

She yelped, startled at a loud thud on the counter behind her. She whirled around, saluting and standing at attention quickly when her eyes glimpsed Adam’s robes.

“SIR!”

“Geez, at ease, Lute!” Adam laughed, sliding a new red cup towards her.

“What’s this I hear about you slamming back ten glasses of wine in less than ten minutes? What’s happened to Sergeant Sober?”

Lute lowered her hand and, ignoring Adam’s question, grabbed the cup and inspected the liquid inside. It was clear and bubbly, with a thin slice of lime floating on top of the ice.

“What’s this?”

“Vodka, soda and lime. Not something I’d drink myself, but considering you don-“ Adam’s eyes widened as she lifted the cup to her lips and began drinking.

And she didn’t stop until she’d downed the whole damn thing.

“More.”

Adam ran his hand through his hair. Fuck. She was really doing this. Then again, it was Lute. She was a go hard or go home kind of gal. Scratch that - she was just the type to go hard.

There was no going home with her.

Unless…

There was a part of him that wanted her to let loose. The selfish part of him wanted Lute to drink herself silly with him, keep up with him drink-for-drink, get on the dance floor and grind until…

“I said more, Sir.”

Adam shook his head and tossed all thoughts of grinding with Lute aside as she threw her empty cup at him.

“Shit, alright, calm down. Hey - where did Vaggie go?”

Lute’s head whipped around towards the crowd. While she wasn’t looking, Adam quickly refilled her cup with water and plonked it in front of her. She turned back and without looking, gulped down the drink.

She was lost in her thoughts, visibly perturbed at Adam’s inquiries to where Vaggie went.

Why did he care if Vaggie was there anyway? Probably so he could fucking goad them into making out or something. As if they were that close anymore anyway- 

She paused, pulling the cup away from her lips and looking at it, then looking at Adam incredulously.

It was distinctly not the same drink he’d offered her before. It was watered down. 

Wait. It was water.

“Sir. This isn’t what you gave me last time.”

Adam raised his brows, scratching the stubble on his jaw as he tried to play dumb.

“What? It’s not?” He grabbed the cup from her, pretending to investigate the contents.

“SURE it is! You questioning my judgment?”

Lute blinked as he handed the cup back. “I would never-“

“GREAT!” Adam launched himself back over the bar, arm wrapping around his lieutenant’s shoulders as he looked out on the party.

Lute felt her face heat up once again. Although, she was BLAMING the alcohol. Yes! It was the alcohol’s fault. Not… proximity.

She cleared her throat, the hint of a small smile touching the corners of her mouth.

“Look at what we did, Lute.” Adam squeezed Lute’s shoulders and planted a kiss on the top of her head, pride radiating through his body.

He gestured with his other hand to the crowd of dancing angels in front of him.

“Everyone is here having a kick-ass time because of what we’ve built. You and me. So, if you’re really serious about celebrating… then let’s get fucked up!” He let go of Lute’s shoulder and turned to the bartender, grinning.

“Two tequila shots, thanks.”

“Salt and lime?”

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” Adam looked over at his lieutenant, who had joined him at the bar and was tightly gripping the edge of the counter. “Lute, you all good?”

She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Of course. Why do you ask, Sir?”

“You look like you’re trying to flip the bar counter. Are you trying to start a riot?”

“Oh.” She looked down at her hands and let go. “I’m fine.”

Ah. There was some of that defiance he knew and loved.

“I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing.” She frowned and glared up at him.

Adam grinned down at her, accepting the shot glasses from the bartender. “There’s my girl. Anyway, you ever done one of these before?”

Lute shook her head. “No, Sir.”

“Alright, repeat after me. Lick,” He held the saltshaker up. 

“Shoot,” he pointed to the shot glass.

“And suck.” He lifted the small plate of lime wedges before setting it back down on the bar counter.

“Lick, shoot, suck.” Lute echoed, the faint smile returning to her face again, accompanied by a slight blush.

Shit, why did that make his head spin?. He was definitely feeling buzzed.

“Damn, Lutie-cutie, I love it when you talk dirty.” His remark was met with a quick jab in the ribs. “Ow! Alright, alright. You ready? Watch me first.” He grabbed her wrist and sprinkled salt over it.

Without warning, he licked the salt off her bare skin, threw back the shot and grabbed a lime wedge, popping it in his mouth.

“Uhh… Sir?” Lute looked down at her wrist, nose wrinkling in confusion.

“Oh yeah, you can’t go wrong with one of these. Your turn. I’ll even get the lime ready for you so you don’t have to worry.” Grabbing the salt shaker again, he shook it over his own wrist this time. He then handed Lute the shot and picked up the lime slice. Grinning, he held his wrist out to her. “Ready, babe?”

Lute’s eyes darted between the shot, Adam’s face, and the salt on his wrist. She was trying to make peace with the agreement she’d made. An understanding that she would need to lick salt off of his wrist was something she was finding incredibly hard to wrap her mind around.

There was a level of forbidden about the concept of her consuming anything off of her boss’ body. One that she couldn’t tell made it more enticing or more shameful.

Maybe both?

Even still… she wasn’t about to say no.

Lick, shoot, suck. Lick, shoot, suck. Lick, shoot suck.

That was all she needed to do. Three simple things.

The logistics of which were all getting scrambled in her mind. What was the order?

LICK. SHOOT. SUCK.

EASY.

Her heart pounded against her sternum, her body frozen for a half a second as she considered and reconsidered the ramifications of the actions she was about to take.

SCREW RAMIFICATIONS. Adam was watching her expectantly. Waiting expectantly.

She grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled it to her mouth just as she heard him start to ask a question. She licked up the salt, tossing Adam’s arm away as she whirled to grab the shot and knock it back.

Her eyes widened and she recoiled as the taste hit her, pushing away from the counter and the lime in Adam’s hand.

Fuck!

She held the liquid- no, poison- in her mouth for a half a second as she tried to consider whether or not to swallow or spit it out.

She was vaguely aware of Adam gesturing with his hands in her direction. Though, the obnoxious music muffled whatever he was exclaiming in the moment.

SHOOT THE LIME.

Lute forced herself to swallow, spinning around and nearly crashing into Adam. She frantically grabbed his other wrist, trying to wrestle the lime free of his grip.

“Shit - Lute - what are you doing?” Adam laughed, the smaller angel trying to pry each individual finger off the lime wedge in his hand. “Don’t fuck around with it, just shove it in your mouth!��� He let go of the fruit and watched her desperately suck the wedge, her jaw working overtime to extract every last drop of juice from the lime.

He couldn’t deny it was kinda hot. 

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Better?” She nodded and took the wedge from her lips, depositing it onto the plate Adam had taken it off. “Well,” he cleared his throat, starting to feel the effect of the shot he’d taken only minutes earlier. “That… did not go as I had expected.”

“Why?” Lute frowned. “Did I do something wrong? Should we do another one?” Her eyes darted frantically towards the bar.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a giant nope from me, babe.” Adam shook his head fervently and stepped between Lute and the bar.

One tequila shot down and she was already trying to wrestle him. If she had another she might try and… Well. He wouldn’t mind that. Especially considering she’d finally ditched the chain mail that usually covered her neck and collarbone, leaving them temptingly bare.

“I could handle another one. You don’t think I could?” She put her hands on her hips and glared up at him.

“Lute, if there is anybody who I think could do it, it’s you. All I’m saying is, let’s take a break. We can have another one later.”

Lute said nothing.

“Luteyyyyy.” He teased, moving closer to her, not stopping until their bodies were virtually touching. 

“Come on.” He snaked an arm around her waist and bent down to whisper in her ear. He felt her body immediately tense, the heat rising in her cheeks practically radiating off her.

“If you take a break for a little while, you can come back and do another one later. Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll let you do it off my chest.” He heard her breath hitch in her throat and without even looking at her he knew her face was several shades brighter than the sun itself.

He grinned to himself and gave her waist a little squeeze. She was stupidly cute when she got herself all flustered and being under the influence of alcohol just seemed to amplify it.

“Right, hold tight babe. After all these years, it’s finally happening. You and me, we’re hitting the dance floor!” In one swift motion, he hoisted her up over his shoulder and strode out to the packed crowd, Lute’s protests drowned out by the thumping music.

Lute propped herself up with her arms, doing her best to wriggle off of his shoulder as she was unwillingly carried to the dance floor.

Normally, she might’ve protested more. But the alcohol, admittedly, was beginning to get to her, if not entirely overwhelm her.

Her self-restraint was reasonably inhibited at the very least. At the most? She was pleasantly numb. And for once… that was nice? 

She didn’t have to worry about the stack of paperwork or what the seraphim might say if they heard about this party in the morning.

She could just… exist and do what she wanted.

In other words, she found herself giddy, a small giggle escaping her lips as she was carried on.

“Sir. I… can’t dance.” Or at least she’d never danced before to her knowledge. Never mind whatever… dancing was being done in that moment.

She felt the world spin as she felt Adam whip her off his shoulder, nearly stumbling backwards as she landed unsteadily on her feet. Adam caught her hand, pulling her back into him.

“What? That’s fucking ridiculous. ANYONE and their mother can dance if they want to.” He placed his other hand on her waist to steady her.

She felt her face heat up again, very aware of the close proximity of their bodies.

She didn’t pull back though.

“… I’ll follow you.”

Adam pulled a smirk, bringing his hand up to tap near her ear.

“Just listen to the music. Move with the beat!” He started sliding side to side, his movements getting gradually more overt the longer the song carried on.

She watched him, trying to copy, her brows furrowed in concentration. Every so often her eyes would flick to his face, looking for reassurance that she was doing it right.

She apparently was not, given he chuckled and shook his head. Or she assumed he chuckled at least. She could barely hear him over the music.

“Dangertits! You need to LOOSEN. UP. Here-“ He moved to stand behind her, his hands finding her hips and applying just enough pressure for her to get the hint that she needed to move.

She stiffened briefly as she felt his chin near her ear, his hot breath on her neck.

“Move WITH me, not against me. Come on you’re stiff as a board.” He moved his hand up the tiniest bit, cackling as her wings tried to flap involuntarily but were kept immobile by his proximity.

In her defense she wasn’t really listening to the music. She couldn’t really hear over the roaring of her heart in her ears.

Was she breathing? 

Air might be good.

She took a very loud, deep breath. 

“Sorry S-IR!” She was cut off as Adam took her hand and spun her very quickly, only to immediately snap her back towards him before she had any time to process what was going on.

“There we go! Get those feet going!”

A laugh erupted from Lute’s lips as she was spun around again.

“Sir!”

Adam snickered, his arms coming around to trap her against him as her momentum carried them close once more. 

His mouth found her ear so that she could hear him. 

“Did I just hear the most badass bitch in the army laugh? No blood? No guts? Just laugh on the dance floor?”

Lute felt his arms hold her firmly in place and without thinking she lifted her feet off the floor to test just how tight his hold was. Like a child might with their parent. 

It was something she would’ve NEVER tried if she was sober.

Then again… if she was sober there was no way in heaven OR hell she’d allow him to be this close to her in a public space.

She felt her face heat up again as his stubble grazed against her cheek, her heart rocketing away at the contact and pressure.

She realized she hadn’t answered his question, her toes tapping back on the floor as she shook her head.

“I can laugh at things that aren’t death!” She argued, another smaller giggle erupting as Adam all but tossed her away from him again.

“I’ve certainly never seen it before.” He argued, drawing her back into his chest, this time they were facing each other though.

Lute paused, her eyes wide as she looked up at her commanding officer.

She wasn’t breathing again. 

LUNGS WORK.

The look on Lute’s face as she gazed up at him was certainly something Adam had never seen before, either.

Really, there had been a lot of firsts during this year’s Victory concert: 

It was the first time Lute had gone without her armor that she never left home without.  

It was the first time Lute decided to drink at the annual party.   

It was the first time Lute danced.  

And, unless he was reading the situation horribly wrong, Adam was about ninety-nine percent certain that this would be the moment he’d kiss Lute for the first time. 

And it was all he could think about as he stared intensely back at her.

Even in the dimly lit room, he could see her usually bright eyes had melted into golden pools of honey, a depth to them that kept dragging him in. There was no escape, no chance of looking away, even if he wanted to.

She was all he could focus on.  

What else could he possibly think about, besides the way she was looking up at him? Wide-eyed, lips slightly parted, that ridiculously cute blush spreading across her cheeks again.

He was sure she’d stopped breathing by the way he’d felt her chest swell against his body as she inhaled, the exhale never coming as her breath hitched in her throat. Her body, usually so incredibly tense and rigid, was soft and relaxed as he held her tightly against his front. 

She was practically melting into him.  

Not that he could judge her in the slightest. He’d melt into himself too, if it were humanly possible.

Could she feel how clammy his hand was? Their fingers intertwined, his thumb now absentmindedly tracing small circles onto the back of her hand.

Did she feel like they were the only two angels in the room, too? Or was that the tequila talking?  

“Hey, Lute?” He murmured, leaning in closer, his forehead basically touching hers. He heard a barely audible gasp escape her lips, her chest pressing harder into his as she drew her breath in.

“Can I – ouch!”  

The moment was shattered as Lute’s forehead was suddenly knocked into his, the impact of the bump causing him to see stars.

He blinked once, twice, three times, trying to rid himself of the golden flecks dancing across his line of vision.  

Fucking hell, he had been so close! Whoever that little cockblocker was, he was going to tear them a new asshole as soon as he could see properly again.  

“Fucking watch where you’re dancing, bitch!”  

Or not. It seemed that Lute – sweet, blushing, breathless Lute was going to do it for him.

In a single instant Lute’s entire demeanor shifted. The jolt that had come from behind the catalyst to her rage.

She had been AT PEACE. She had been dare she say… happy? Relaxed even? It was as if no one else was with them, no one else mattered to Adam except her.

It felt like SHE was the center of someone’s world. And the elation that came with it was indescribable.

Which was exactly why the abrupt shift had been intense and irreparable.

She pulled away from Adam, whirling around to face the unlucky exorcist who had been stupid enough to bump into them.

Logic would dictate they were all drunk, it was a public place, they were bound to collide with others.

Lute did not have logic on her side anymore.

The tequila and wine had effectively told logic to take a hike. Which was… not great considering she was a tiny bit unhinged in the best of times.

What was worse, is the exorcist who had bumped into them was fucking Layla.

Lute grit her teeth, shoving Layla with as much strength as she could muster, sending the girl flying into the crowd, knocking at least three other girls down like they were bowling pins.

Her wings twitched, half-spreading in a threat.

“Dance somewhere else!”

Vaggie, who had been passively keeping an eye on her more uptight sister from the other side of the room, scrambled over, pushing through the crowd to stop… whatever it is this was.

She was pretty sure it was gonna be a murder though if she didn’t step in.

No way Adam was going to be any help.

In fact, he’d probably egg it on. 

She jumped in front of Lute, arms stopping her from moving any further towards poor Layla.

“Woah! Woah. Uh- how about we step out and fucking cool DOWN? This isn’t the place to pick fights.”

Lute shot Vaggie a look that said she wanted to maim her in some gruesome and horrible way. 

The look was ignored.

“Get. Your hands off of me.” Lute hissed, pulling back away from Vaggie, stumbling into Adam as she did so.

“Ugh - shit! Hey, Lutey,” Adam caught her around the waist with one hand before she fell, bringing the other up over her front, trapping her arms by her side so she couldn’t use them to hurt anybody.

Or him, for that matter.

“Wanna go grab some water and just chillax outside for a sec?” Selfishly, he also wouldn’t mind trying to recreate what had almost happened earlier, without the risk of another interruption.  

She struggled against him, thrashing violently to escape his hold on her, elbows bending and colliding with his stomach, attempting to throw him off her.

“Let – me – go!”  

Vaggie glared at Adam. 

“She needs to go home. She’s going to end up butchering somebody in a minute.” She narrowed her eyes further at Adam and put her hands on her hips. “This is all your fault.”  

“My fault?!” Adam cried incredulously, wincing slightly as Lute stomped down on his foot. “I didn’t do anything! You’re the one who let her drink eighteen glasses of wine before I got to her!”  

“And you thought tequila, of all things, would be a good way to wash all that down?”  

If Vaggie wasn’t careful, he was going to put her on fucking toilet cleaning duty come Monday morning. What was it with these warrior chicks and their smartass mouths?! If it wasn’t Lute sassing him, it was this one getting her panties in a twist about… well, everything.  

“Look,” he started angrily, shifting Lute to the side as she started kicking backwards, clearly hoping to make contact where she knew it would hurt. Bitch. “I don’t fucking care how she got to this point, scissor sister. I just need to get her home, to bed.”  

Vaggie balled her hands into fists. “I saw you two before Layla bumped into Lute. There’s no fucking way in Hell I’m letting you take her anywhere. Alone.”  

“Why, you wanna join in?” Adam taunted, squeezing Lute harder. He felt her body soften with the pressure, and he gently rubbed the shoulder he was holding, a silent ‘thank you’ for finally calming down. “If that’s the case, all you have to do is ask.”

Vaggie’s eyebrow twitched at the very notion that Adam would invite her back with them. Which only FURTHER sealed in her mind that she could not and WOULD NOT let her sworn sister, be it Lute or anyone else, go with him that night.

Disgusting excuse for a first man.

“I’d rather stab my eyes out with forks.”

She glanced at Lute, who for the moment was calm, but seemed a hair’s breadth away from popping off again.

The lieutenant was peering at Adam from the corner of her eye. Her brows furrowed in concentration. 

Though what she was concentrating on, Vaggie hadn’t the slightest clue.

She grabbed Lute’s wrist, pulling her free of Adam’s grasp and towards her.

“Uh, Lute.” She placed her hands on either one of the lieutenant’s shoulders and lowered her tone so that Adam could barely hear over the music.

“I REALLY think you should just get yourself as far away from this pervert as you can and sleep this off.”

Lute made a face, pulling away from Vaggie.

“Like I said earlier, I’m fine.”

Vaggie couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. 

“And unlike earlier, I am not going to let you go ANYWHERE with this sleezeball alone.”

Lute waved her hand, the action uncoordinated and flippant.

“We’ve been alone together plenty of times before-“

“But not while you were drunk and certainly not while HE was drunk. Look I’m just saying you’re not able to think clearly-“

“Don’t question me!” Lute snapped, swatting Vaggie as she turned back to grab Adam’s hand.

“If the commander is going to fuck me on the table then we’ll fuck on the table!”

“What the…” Adam trailed off, eyes darting back and forth between Vaggie, who looked like she wanted to be sick, and Lute, who was tugging insistently on his hand towards…  

…a booth.  

Oh, shit. She wasn’t kidding.  

“You know what?” Vaggie threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “I give up. I don’t care anymore. You two do whatever the hell you want to each other.” She started off towards the bar before turning back and facing Lute.

“What you just said makes me want to drink bleach. But it sounds like you’ve made up your mind, and I can’t stop you from making shitty decisions. If you need me though, you call me right away. I mean it, Lute.” She threw a filthy look Adam’s way and stalked away, muttering further under her breath in Spanish so neither of them could understand her.  

Adam cleared his throat and turned his attention to Lute, who hadn’t stopped pulling at him. “Lute. Stop for a sec, babe.”  

She listened, her grip loosening as she looked up at him expectantly. Adam swallowed nervously, his hands clammy once again. He’d be a liar if he said that he didn’t love the idea of taking her there and then on the table in front of everybody. 

Or against the table. Or from behind as he bent her over the tab-  

Not the time, dickhead!  

“I’m taking you home.” he said firmly, grabbing her other hand and squeezing both of her hands with his. “You’ve had enough. Fuck, I’ve had enough, and that’s saying something. I’m going to make sure you’re home safe, and I’ll stay with you until I’m satisfied that you’re not going to choke on your own vomit once the high inevitably wears off and you start feeling like shit.”

Lute tried yanking her hands out of his grasp. “I don’t want to go home. Let’s just stay here and – ” She was cut off as Adam tightened his grip.  

“That’s a fucking order, Lieutenant. I’d think long and hard about your next move.”  

Not one to disobey her commander, Lute fell silent.

Adam seized the opportunity to pull her closer, one hand holding her firmly around the waist, the other finding the back of her head.He grabbed a fistful of hair and firmly tugged her head back, her head tilting upwards, bright eyes wide once again. He lowered his eyes and leaned forward, lips brushing slightly against her skin as he pressed his cheek roughly to hers, mouth finding her ear.  

He felt her inhale and forget to exhale again, hands fisted in his robes.  

“Then, you and I are going to have a little chat about saying things that we don’t mean. Understood?” He whispered angrily.

Lute swallowed, her eyes widening as she felt his mouth against her ear.

It wasn’t often Adam got mad. Even more rare that it was directed at her. And that stung.

She’d be lying if she didn’t think the whole interaction was… the tiniest bit hot though.

“Yes, Sir.” She responded, ducking her head low when he let her go, shame smacking into her with the force of a train.

She looked at no one, and said nothing as they left the party, following closely behind her commanding officer.

Once they were alone and outside of the venue Lute lifted her head, glancing at Adam to see if she could read his body language. Something that was easier said than done given she could hardly walk a straight line and consistently bumped into him as they moved.

Even still, he was stiff, his long strides carrying him quickly down the decently empty promenade. His grip on her hand was tighter then she would’ve liked it to be.

Oh crap! The seraphim would KNOW she was drunk! She puffed her chest out, trying even harder than she had been to walk in a straight line, her eyes darting around the sky, looking for open windows in the taller buildings.

If there was anytime when Sera would spot them, it was then.

They were done for. She was going to get written up!!!

She felt Adam yank on her arm, jarring her from her particularly panicked thoughts.

She was going to get written up AND Adam was mad at her. This was the WORST FUCKING NIGHT!!!

She wanted to cry.

The walk back to the barracks and her apartment was the longest walk. Not just because she kept stopping, and bumping into him.

WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO WALK?

She doubted flying would be any easier though. The last thing they needed was to fall out of the sky because she crashed into the side of a building.

The longer Adam was silent, the more anxious Lute remained.

Okay… table sex is not something she should EVER SUGGEST EVER in the future.

He was never going to trust her again. She was going to get demoted. He’d probably promote Layla…

She crashed into him when he stopped at her door, bouncing back and saluting.

“SORRY SIR.”

Adam ignored her.  

“In,” he growled, pointing at the door. “Now.”  

Lute shakily dropped her hand from her forehead and produced her key from her pocket.

Adam plucked it from her hand and swiftly unlocked the door, guiding her inside. If he let her try and do it, they’d be out there all night, given how she could barely walk home in a straight line. And he did not have the patience to watch her repeatedly try and fit her key into the keyhole.  

The first thing he noticed about Lute’s apartment wasn’t that it was spotless, or that there was no visible clutter – unlike his own home, which was practically littered with random bits and bobs. Or even that she had very little decor adorning the walls and surfaces. 

No. It was her dining table, which was devoid of any decorations and looked very inviting.

Suppressing the urge to take her up on the offer she’d made at the party, he remembered his annoyance with her. He grabbed both of her shoulders and steered her towards her couch instead.  

“Sit down.”  

She obediently dropped onto the two-seater, deliberately avoiding his gaze.

He went into her kitchen and opened cupboards, muttering to himself in irritation as he struggled to locate her drinking glasses. After finally finding them on his fourth attempt, he filled them both with water and joined Lute on the couch, handing her one as he sat.

She accepted, still silent, staring down into the glass  

“Drink.” He raised his own glass to his lips, an invitation for her to do the same.

She took a small sip, finally meeting his eyes.  

Shit. Adam felt a tiny pang in his chest at the way she was frowning at him. He knew what that look meant - she was embarrassed.  

“You wanna tell me what the hell happened back there?” he asked sternly.

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the glass tighter.  

“Um…” Was all she could muster, face flushing as she turned away from him.

“I…” She quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and puffed her cheeks.

What was she supposed to say??? If she admitted she had genuinely wanted him to take her on the table, he would be mad given that was the thing that started this mess.

If she tried to cover, and just say she was drunk, which she was, he would be mad.

She didn’t know how to navigate this without Adam being upset with her in some manner. And that fact unnerved her more than anything else.

She didn’t want him to hate her. She very much did NOT want him to hate her.

She took a shaky breath, her teeth clamping down on the edge of the glass as she raised it to her mouth again to drink.

And, as she still was buying for time, she downed the entire contents of the glass.

Shoot. Now what?

She set the glass on the coffee table in front of them, her motion stiff and robotic.

Then she exhaled the air she’d been holding, cracking the knuckles in her fingers and wrists as she looked around the room for a sign, an answer to why she had ever let herself suggest they have sex on the table.

The thought of which was still teasing her… especially as her own table caught her eye.

Fuck! She was so hot.

“I- um…” She swallowed, pressing her lips together.

Her hands were so sweaty.

“I…” She was going to melt if she didn’t do something!

“Give me one moment Sir. I just…” She shifted in her seat, pulling her tunic up over her head, only for her to struggle getting it off.

WHY WAS HER COORDINATION SO AWFUL!?

“Lute,” Adam sighed, taking in the sight of her with her tunic stuck over her head, shoulders hunched forward, arms tangled awkwardly in the material. “What are you doing?” It was hard to stay too mad at her when she looked so fucking ridiculous. There was a muffled reply from beneath the fabric that he couldn’t quite make out. “Do…” he cleared his throat. “Do you need help with that?”  

Lute managed to pop her head through the neck of the tunic, exhaling loudly.

“No, Sir,” she breathed, freeing her arms and depositing the garment on the floor next to her couch. Smoothing her tousled platinum hair out of her face, she grabbed Adam’s glass of water and downed it in one gulp.

It wasn’t hard to notice that she was flustered. Her face was a brilliant shade of gold, spreading from the apples of her cheeks right down her neck and spilling over her chest. She kept rubbing her hands on her legs like there was something unpleasant on them that she desperately needed to wipe off.

Not to mention the fact that her breathing was oddly erratic - she was practically panting.

He just couldn’t figure out why she was so worked up. Adam cocked his eyebrow at her, his irritation slowly but surely being replaced by mild amusement at how out of sorts she was. “Better?”  

“Um,” she bit her lip nervously and turned her head to stare towards her dining table.

Adam felt his chest tighten as he followed her gaze. Oh. That damn table was going to taunt him all night, and now it really wasn’t helping knowing she was clearly thinking about it, too. He wondered if it was for the same reason it was playing on his mind.

“Not really, no. It’s so hot in here.” She exhaled pointedly, and she looked so incredibly bothered now that Adam couldn’t hold his grudge any longer.

Her eyes were darting nervously around the room, hands running through her already messy hair and clutching at her flushed skin. A lot more skin than what he was used to her showing, Adam reminded himself. She puffed her cheeks like she always did when she couldn’t get her words out properly and stood, stumbling slightly as she started pacing.  

“Lutey,” he started, chuckling. How could he possibly stay mad at her? She was being completely ridiculous now, which was so fucking endearing to him. He liked how that made him feel, how a warmth was starting to spread in his chest and extend down into his abdomen. Or, it could just be the alcohol talking. “Lute, come here.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto the couch.

He had intended for her to fall back where she’d originally been sitting, but he must have been drunker than he realized because he’d incorrectly gauged where she was going to land and pulled her right into his lap.For the third time that night, she grabbed the front of his robes in her fists. He felt his own breathing quicken in anticipation, his hands gravitating to her waist like they had each time they’d been close earlier that night.

His hands spread around the curve of her figure, just a sheer piece of fabric separating him from feeling her bare skin. “Hey,” he said, squeezing her gently. “You all good?”  

“Uh-huh.” Her bright eyes bored into his own, blazing, determined not to break contact.  

“Good,” he whispered, absentmindedly running the tips of his fingers up and down the side of her body.  

For several seconds, neither of them spoke or moved, an unfamiliar tension in the air hanging thickly between them. Neither of them broke eye contact with the other as they kept staring, both determinedly playing a silent game of chicken. Waiting to see who would be the first to break.  

It was Lute who folded.  

“Oh, fuck this.” she groaned suddenly, and before Adam could react, she’d pulled on his robes to close the gap between their mouths and kissed him, not holding back as she took control. She devoured him with the same manner as she approached her work: hard, fast and with reckless abandon.

Her hands quickly found their way onto his neck and into his hair, her lips never leaving his as she hungrily explored every inch of his mouth with her tongue like her life depended on it.

She tasted like tequila, lime, red wine, pure adrenaline and… the blood of the hundreds of sinners she’d slayed earlier that day?

Ow. No, scratch that, it was his blood. She’d just kissed him so fucking intensely that she’d bit his lip. 

Now that was hot.

“So,” Adam rasped when they finally broke for air, head spinning, his mouth surely bruised, “does this mean you were serious about – about the table? Back at the party?”  

She nodded, biting her now-swollen lip as she backed up off him, tugging on his hand so he also rose from the couch, leading him towards her dining table. 

“Oh, no, babe,” he grinned as he realized what she was doing, hoisting her onto his hips, her legs instinctively wrapping around his body. If she thought she was calling all the shots, she had another thing coming.  

Lute involuntarily let out a small gasp of surprise as he lifted her body against his, lacing her arms around his neck to steady herself.

“You’ve had your fun, now it’s my turn.”  

“But I- ”

He silenced her protests with his mouth, his kiss softer and slower in comparison to hers. He could feel her frustration at his deliberate pace as she tried to dominate him, her hands gripping his neck tightly as she began responding fiercely, her lips fighting his to take over.

“Nuh-uh,” he tutted against her mouth, taking a step towards the table. “What did I just say, Lieutenant?” He pulled back ever so slightly, smirking as he felt her exhale in frustration, her breath hot and heavy against his face.  

“It’s your turn, sir,” she panted shakily.  

“You’ve always been a fast learner.” He rewarded her with another long, lingering kiss as he backed her towards the table, stumbling slightly as he accidentally bumped into a wall. “Such a good girl you are, Lute.”  

She whimpered as his mouth met hers again, her fingernails dragging against his scalp as she entwined her fingers in his hair, his praise clearly turning her on - which, in turn, drove him fucking crazy.

He quickened his pace, kissing her with a fierce intensity that he was no longer able to contain. Setting her down on the edge of the table, he pulled his mouth away and leaned his forehead against hers to catch a quick breath.

The whole room was spinning around them, but he didn’t care.  

“By the way,” he whispered as he steadied himself, dipping his head to gently press his lips at the hollow of her neck,

“I don’t believe I’ve told you how hot you look tonight. Or every day, for that matter. How rude of me.” His hands found their way up underneath her underdress, feeling their way up her back until they discovered her bra strap, which he fumbled with clumsily until the clasp broke free.

“So fucking sexy,” he murmured against her throat, his hands now free to roam her upper back, taking in her hard muscles, the soft indents of her countless battle scars, the sensitive flesh where her skin met the base of her wings.Lute moaned in response, the vibration tickling Adam’s lips as they trailed down her neck and across her collarbone. 

The sound she’d made… fuck, that sound alone was enough to make him explode, which was a dangerous thought, given how hard his dick was straining against his pants. His mouth found hers once more, now frantic and desperate. His hands groped at her ass, pressing her body tightly against his hips, rocking forward firmly so she could feel how badly he needed her.

The message seemed to ring loud and clear as Lute’s fingers hastily located the buttons of his robe and fumbled with them, trying in vain to undo them.  

“Sorry, Sir,” she murmured against his mouth as she struggled, “I guess I’m a little drunk.”  

“A little drunk?” he laughed huskily, catching her bottom lip with his teeth and tugging it playfully as he reached his hands up to help her with his buttons. “Babe, we’re absolutely fucking wasted.”  

Then it hit him. They were wasted.

This wasn’t right – as much as every fiber of his being wanted to follow through with Lute’s declaration back at the party, as much as it went against every instinct of his to stop what they were doing, he couldn’t continue. Not like this when they were both in the wrong frame of mind.

He didn’t want her to wake up the next morning and resent him for it or think something had happened that she wasn’t okay with.  

He didn’t want her regretting it.  

“Lute, babe,” his hands closed around hers as he painfully stepped back slowly from her, his whole body crying out in protest. “We need to stop now before we get too carried away.”

Lute’s jaw dropped.

Shock and confusion clear and evident on her face, in her eyes. Her brows furrowed as she felt the space between them grow wider.

Her hands reached out, clinging to his robe in some desperate attempt to bring him back.

He wasn’t serious.

They couldn’t just STOP??? NOT NOW!

She scooted forward on the table, her feet latching onto him in a similar, desperate manner that her hands did.

She was going to fall off the edge of the table if she wasn’t careful-

“Sir? But-“ She closed her mouth, her eyes darting back and forth as she internally sorted through the steps that had been taken to get them there.

She NEEDED them to keep going.

“We could just- we don’t have to be on the table.” She pulled him close again, her hips bucking the moment she felt him against her once more.

He exhaled deeply, his hands coming to rest at her sides as she pulled him back into a desperate kiss.

He pulled back, turning his head and bringing his hands up to take her wrists.

“What? No! No. Lute-“ He shook his head, running a hand through his hair and messing it up further.

“That’s not the fucking issue here. We’re not doing this! You’re going to bed, I’m gonna hit the couch. We’re gonna sleep this off so we don’t regret it in the morning.”

Lute’s face fell, the rejection impaling her like an icepick through her chest.

Any other fucking exorcist and he’d have taken them on the couch, on the table, on the chair-

Why couldn’t he do the same for her?

What was it about her that was just SO unappealing that he refused to cross that professional line?

She sat on the edge of the table, watching him shuffle towards the hall. He stopped and turned to look at her, apparently he had realized she wasn’t following.

He looked annoyed.

GOOD.

She was annoyed too.

She folded her arms in an indignant huff as she slid off the table, her feet just barely landing solidly on the floor beneath her.

“You’re really gonna sit there and fucking pout in the kitchen?”

She didn’t respond, she just continued to glare.

He looked at her flatly, walking back to grab her arm and usher her towards the bedroom.“You need to go to bed. I need to go to bed. Stop making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

“You’re that tired all of a sudden?”

“Lute, look how fucking hard I am right now, you REALLY think I just wanna go to bed for the hell of it? I’m TRYING to be the responsible one here!”

He pulled her down the hall, peeking his head into the first two doors until he found her bedroom.

“I’m not going to sleep, Sir.”

He looked at her flatly.

She stared back at him, every ounce of defiance she could muster in her golden eyes as she stood firmly rooted in place.

After a moment of neither one of them daring to move, Lute realized her bra was still haphazardly on. She maintained eye contact as she blindly tried to remove the straps and take it off, her expression DARING Adam to try and stop her.

After struggling for a substantial amount of time she finally managed to slip the garment off, tossing it into the hallway behind them.

“Yeah, you’re going to bed.”

“No, Sir.” she stated, staring him down as she then removed her pants, falling into the wall as she struggled to get the article of clothing off. Once she did she triumphantly tossed them behind her, hands on her hips, chest puffed out.

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, frustrated.  

Frustrated that it turned out that he had a conscience – where the fuck had that come from? – and stopped himself before they christened Lute’s dining table blind drunk.  

Frustrated with the fact that Lute wouldn’t go to fucking bed.  

Frustrated with the fact that instead of doing her bra up like a normal person would in this situation, she’d chosen instead to take it off, followed by her pants.  

Frustrated with the fact that her stupid underdress was see-through – seriously, what was the fucking point of it, anyway? – and now he had her standing defiantly opposite him, hands on hips, tits proudly on display beneath the sheer fabric as she stared him down.  

As if he didn’t have a fucking tent pitched under his robe as it was, she had the audacity to go and tease him like this. She knew exactly what she was doing.  

Bitch.  

“You were saying, Sir?” she smirked, attempting to brace herself on the wall but her hand slipped, causing her to stumble slightly. If she wasn’t irritating him so much, he’d find her newfound cocky bravado somewhat adorable.  

“Bed.” Was all he could muster as he stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to let his eyes cast downwards at her body. Because, shit, she really did have a great rack.

No wonder he’d nicknamed her Dangertits. Somebody could very well die being suffocated by those things.  

It’d suck balls to die and all, but man, what a fucking way to go.  

“Make me, Sir.”  

Adam’s head snapped back to its normal position, his gaze meeting hers once more. She continued to bore her eyes into his, silently daring him to defy her.  

He wasn’t going to fall for it. If he challenged her, she’d probably sprint away from him, and he was too drunk to be able to confidently catch her.

“If that’s what it takes, fine.” He strode towards her – still avoiding looking at her body anywhere below her chin level – and without warning, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, one burly arm wrapped around her waist.

Like a ragdoll.  

“Are you coming to bed, too?” she asked as he carried her into her bedroom, shutting the door with his free hand behind them. Knowing her as well as he did, if he left the door open she’d sprint out of the room the first opportunity she got.  

“No,” he answered, setting her down on her bed clumsily.

“I’m going to go and sleep on the couch.”

Lute flapped her wings once to balance herself once she lifted herself into a seated position on the bed.

Not that it worked. It was like she was on a boat, every correction she’d made to try and stay upright pushed her too far in the other direction.

Had she not been so sexually frustrated with Adam, she would’ve been more irritated by her inability to keep herself steady.

She thrust her hand outward as she fell forward, catching Adam by his robe before he could pull back fully.

Their faces were close again.

“You choose now in your immortal life to be responsible??” NOW of all times???

If she had been the sober one he’d be making dumb reckless choice after dumb reckless choice. But because SHE was also drunk he was deciding that it was his turn to be a gentleman???

What if she didn’t want him to be a gentleman!? Which she didn’t. She wanted him to fuck her right there and then!

She felt his hot breath against her face as he sighed and looked skyward again. Letting go of his robes, she grabbed his chin, turning it down so their eyes met.

“Shit! Lute come on I’m doing my best here! You’re not thinking right. I’m not thinking right and you’re REALLY pushing it babe.”

She pulled him into another sloppy kiss. “I don’t want you to do your best. I want you to fuck me-“

“Go to sleep.”

“No, Sir.”

“Babe. I’m not fucking around. You. Need. To. Sleep.”    

“And I’m not fucking around. I. Want. To. Fuck. You.” Lute punctuated her latter declaration with a short kiss to Adam’s lips after each word.

“Hard. Fast. Here. On the table. My couch. I don’t care where or how, I just know that it’s what I want – and from what I felt back on the table – ” Lute’s eyes moved down Adam’s chest, towards his lower body,

“ – you wanted it too.” She flushed slightly and bit her lip.   

Dammit, she looked so fucking hot when she did that!

He was this close to throwing responsibility out the window. One more, if she told him how badly she wanted him one more time…  

Adam squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to collect his thoughts, needed to talk himself out of giving in to what he really wanted to do.  

He needed to think non-sexy thoughts.  

Paperwork. Hard paperwork – no! Not the word hard. Shit. Difficult – yes, that was better. Difficult paperwork. Lute helping with the paperwork. Lute leaning over his desk, wearing the same sheer underdress so he could see her – fuck! Okay, thinking about paperwork wasn’t going to cut it.  

Sera! Sera wasn’t sexy. Sera was a giraffe lady, who liked to write him up constantly for bullshit reasons. Like sleeping during Court. And pranking Lute during meetings.

Really, Lute should be written up for this. He’d reprimand her, all right. Order her to bend over his lap so he could smack that tight ass of hers.  

No! Bad Adam!  

THIS. WASN’T. WORKING!  

“No!” he cried, grabbing her hands and removing them from his face.

“Babe. I need you to stop.” He swallowed, his throat tight, every part of his body aching now, to the point where if she touched him just one more time he would probably explode. “I’m going to get up now. And lock the door.”

Lute squinted her eyes, her brows furrowed at his statement.

“Why would you need to lock the door?” Her brief pause from confusion ended when she noticed him pulling back. It was then she grabbed his robe again, yanking on it to draw him close once more.

He was NOT getting away from her that easily. Especially when there was a high chance he’d run.

She grabbed his face again, only for him to deflect her away.

“LUTE WILL YOU LET ME BE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE FOR ONCE???” He threw her back against the bed. Initially thrilling. The rush of being tossed backwards making her giggle.

She could work with this!

Or she thought she could. Before she could so much as utter a rebuttal, he was on top of her. But he wasn’t on top of her in anyway that she wanted him to be.

He was laying sideways overtop of her so that his feet were off the bed. He held her arms pinned to her sides so she couldn’t move, at least not her upper body.

She was trapped under him in the least sexy way he could’ve possibly come up with.

“Sir! What the fuck are you doing???”

“Go to sleep Lute! I am fucking begging you! We are both completely wasted and I’m not gonna come out of this the fucking bad guy for once!”

Lute kicked her legs in protest, trying to get leverage by twisting and wriggling free.

She couldn’t get a single hit on him. Shit!

“Kick air all you want. I’m NOT moving.”

“SIR.”

“GO TO SLEEP.”

Adam was rather proud of his quick thinking.  

He knew it was risky, pinning Lute to the bed. Mostly because he knew she’d enjoy it – and given the way she’d laughed as he threw her down, his suspicions were confirmed.  

He filed that away for a later, more sober date.  

This position, however, was perfect. He had her arms pinned, so there was so way she could grab a hold of him. She couldn’t kick him, considering his body was lying across her upper torso and there was no physical way she could reach him. His head was far back enough from her face that she couldn’t lean forward and kiss him.  

Or at least, he thought it was perfect. Because when she started kicking out and thrashing, he’d made the mistake of looking down at her chest and noticing her tits again.  

He said a silent prayer of thanks that his dick was nowhere near her body as he shifted his hips downwards onto the mattress.   

Just in case.  

“Sir?” she panted, her kicks subsiding.

He could feel her body slacken beneath his – it could be tiredness, or, knowing Lute, she could be feigning fatigue only to take him by surprise and throw him off her when he was least suspecting it.

He squeezed her arms tighter by her side, keeping his eyes firmly on her undecorated bedroom wall behind the bedhead.“Yeah, Lute?”  

“Are you going to tell Sera about this?” Her voice was quiet, small. Afraid.  

“Only if you don’t shut up and go to sleep soon.”  

“Oh.” Silence.

“Sir?”  

“Yeah?”  

“Are you going to write me up?”  

“For what?”  

“For me wanting you to fuck me on the table.”  

Adam sighed heavily and looked down at Lute’s face. Her eyelids were drooping; she was looking at him from underneath her eyelashes. He could feel that her breathing was becoming slower; more even, regulated. She was finally on the cusp of sleep.  

“No, babe. I’m not going to write you up,” he said, watching her face relax. “You were a fucking menace tonight and tested me in every way possible, but no. I’ll let you off. Just this once.”  

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes fluttering shut. “Good.”

Adam watched Lute’s face as she drifted off, her head tilting to the side slightly as she finally gave in to sleep. He smiled fondly as soft snores escaped her mouth and began to rhythmically fill the room.  

She was adorable, even in sleep.  

He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the forehead, smoothing her wild hair out of her face so she wouldn’t get it in her mouth as she slept.  

“Night, Dangertits.” he whispered as he slowly, deliberately, moved off her body. He took the duvet from the opposite side of the bed and wrapped it over her, lifting her arm to tuck it just under her body.  

Now, it was time for him to sleep. He was fucking spent.  

He opened her wardrobe and located a spare blanket, folded with military precision on the top shelf. Picking up the spare pillows that had ended up on the floor during their tussle, he lined them up neatly parallel to Lute’s body and settled himself on the bed next to her, draping the blanket over himself.  

She may have been all over him earlier, but he knew what she’d be like in the morning when she discovered that they’d shared a bed. Best to play it safe.  

Closing his eyes, he attempted to reconcile how he’d ended up in this position. Adam was never responsible; in fact, he was practically the poster boy for bad choices, the textbook definition of irresponsibility. So why was he so insistent of not fucking this up?He peered over the pillow barrier at Lute, who had shifted slightly in her sleep so her body was now facing away from him. 

Deep down, he knew why he was so determined to do the right thing. Too bad he’d never admit it out loud.  

Though, he was looking forward to when the time was right between them. Because if the way she kissed him was any sort of preview of what he could expect…  

…it was hot as fuck.  

Hot.  

He was hot as fuck.  

This room was hot as fuck.  

EVERYTHING WAS HOT!  

Adam groaned and threw the blanket off himself and onto the floor. This was the part of drinking that he hated. The inevitable comedown, the beginning of the antagonizing descent back to sober-ness that meant a host of other unpleasant side-effects were soon to follow.  

Usually, he tried to get to sleep before he hit this stage, but somebody had other ideas.  

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think of what unpleasant symptom would come next. Would it be a headache? The nausea? The irritability?  

He was boiling. His body temperature must have been at least a thousand degrees, if not more. Sitting up, he ripped his robe up over his head and tossed it next to him on the floor, his pants and undershirt following suit not long after. Clad only in his underwear, feeling significantly cooler now, he glanced over at Lute, who hadn’t moved since he’d last checked on her.  

He smirked as he lay his head down on the pillow, his eyes now feeling heavy as sleep drew nearer. She was going to freak in the morning when she saw this.

Lute groaned and cracked an eye open, immediately shutting it as the sliver of light from her windows cut through her pupils like a hot knife.      

Her head was THROBBING. The pressure building the longer she laid there.

Even the simple basic act of thinking tore through her brain like a spear.

What happened last night?

She was aware of a very bitter taste in her dry mouth. Like bile.

The party… The victory concert-

Her head was going to explode. The sound of snoring just behind her wasn’t helping-

Snoring?

She sat up quickly, squeezing her eyes shut again as the room spun around her.

UGH she was going to be sick. And she was GOING to kill whoever kept snoring in her ears! It might not have actually been loud but in that moment it was like an amp was turned to max right next to her head.

She grit her teeth, moving slower as she felt with her hands to try and see EXACTLY who dared to sleep in her bed.

At least… she hoped it was her bed…

She forced her eyes open, taking some level of solace through the blinding light that what she could make out seemed at least familiar.

It wasn’t Vaggie’s apartment. Okay… it was hers.

She looked down at the wall of pillows, confounded as to why they were there.

Seriously… what happened?

She brought her hands back to her face, rubbing it gingerly in that hopes the action would alleviate the pressure.

It didn’t.

No wonder hard alcohol was typically banned from Heaven. This was HORRIBLE.

Finally, she found the strength to open her eyes and confront whoever was taking up residence in her bed.

Oh… shit.

It was Adam. Her boss. Sleeping in nothing but his underwear. IN HER BED.

Her eyes widened and she very quickly felt her body, looking down and kicking off whatever covers there were.

She was in her underdress and nothing else... fuck.

What happened last night?! …where was her bra??? Where were her pants???She looked around the bed for any sign of either of them as frantically as she could muster, only to slip and collide with the floor with a ‘thud.’

“Ouch.” She hissed, muttering curses into her carpet.

Adam grunted. Whoever the fuck was rolling around on the floor was about to cop an absolute earful if they didn’t stop in approximately three seconds.  

He groggily opened one eye and took in his surroundings. White bedspread. Black bed-frame. Pillows to his left, dividing the bed.   

Ah. He remembered now. This was Lute’s room.  

Opening the other eye, he peeked over the pillow barricade. Lute seemed to have vacated the bed. Probably sitting on the floor, rocking in the corner of her living room as she pieced together memories of what a freak she’d been the night before.

He smirked as his own recollection of the night began flooding back. She really had indeed been a freak.  

Yawning, he scratched his chest as he sat up properly. Shit, his head was pounding. He had half a mind to lie back down and sleep it off, but he figured he should find Lute and try to ascertain what her version of last night’s events were.

Crawling across the bed, he picked up the pillows and threw them off Lute’s side, not paying any attention to where they landed.  

“Ow!” an indignant voice cried from the floor.  

“Lute?” Adam called, peering over the side of the bed. He was greeted not by her face as he’d expected, but by her almost-bare chest, covered only by the thin material of her underdress.  

Ah. That’s right. She’d taken her bra and pants off in some kind of weird striptease for him last night. A last-ditch attempt to get him to sleep with her.

He wondered if she was aware of her newfound interest in the art of burlesque.  

Only one way to find out.  

“For fuck’s sake, Lieutenant,” he sighed, “Put on a bra, would ya?”Lute responded by rolling over onto her stomach, forehead pressed to the carpet as she tossed a pillow at him, missing and hitting her headboard.

“I’m about to get up, Sir. I just… need a minute. Close your eyes.”  

“What for?” he snorted. “You couldn’t get enough of showing your tits off last night.”  

Lute’s head snapped up, her eyes wide and cheeks positively golden with shock.

“What?!”  

“Oh, yeah.” Adam flattened himself on the bed and grinned down at Lute, who was gaping wordlessly up at him. Oh, this morning was going to be fun, even if he was hungover as shit. “You were wild last night, babe. An animal. You couldn’t keep your hands off me – I had to beg you to stop. Turns out you want the First Dick just as bad as the rest of ‘em.”  

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Lute muttered, her forehead dropping back down to the floor.

She had debased herself.

Even if she was VERY aware of her feelings towards her commanding officer, she’d at the very least always maintained that she still had her chastity. That she wasn’t clamoring to sleep with him like all the other exorcists purely BECAUSE he was the first man.

She likely didn’t even have that anymore. She was just like every other pathetically hopeless girl who drooled over him in heaven. 

Any amount of respect she had for herself? Gone. Obliterated. 

She groaned and thumped her forehead against the floor, immediately regretting it as black spots danced in her vision.

That was nothing compared to the all-encompassing sense of shame that had her in a chokehold.

After a very long moment she forced herself upright, pulling herself to lean on the bed and face her boss.

He was staring at her, a smug look on his lips. His hair was an absolute mess and she REALLY hoped that was of his own doing and not hers.

“…We didn’t… did we?”

Adam snickered, shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh, now you’re having second thoughts? Let me tell you Lutey, you were an absolute FREAK of nature last night.”

Lute paled, slowly sliding back down to the floor so he couldn’t look at her. So he couldn’t SEE any part of her.

He’d apparently already seen enough. AND HE REMEMBERED IT ALL. So why couldn’t she???

-Pants! She needed to find her pants. And her bra. Unless she wanted to continue to unintentionally flash him.

She crawled around the bed, bumping into the frame way more than she would’ve liked as she felt around on the floor for the items of clothing.

She pulled herself up when she reached the door, using the frame to get her up onto her feet.

“Nice ass.”

Lute felt her ears burn as she glanced over her shoulder at him, irritated that he would DARE look her way. She dropped her wings, crossing the bottom feathers in the hopes she’d be at minimum a little more covered.

“Sir… why are you still here?” She asked through clenched teeth.

“You think I feel any better than you do?”

She pressed her lips together, deciding not to respond as she made her way out into the living area.

She was NEVER drinking again. EVER.

Her brows furrowed as she pulled herself along the wall, using it to keep herself upright as she wandered into the main part of her apartment.

She felt like she should be able to remember something from the night before. But apparently it was so horrible her brain had conveniently erased it.

She paused at the end of the hall as her table came into view.

There was something about that table- something IMPORTANT. Why couldn’t she remember???

She heard a very low vibration emanating from the living area near the couch. The telltale sign that her phone was going off from its hiding place beneath the cushions.

GREAT. Another thing she needed to hunt down.

It took her way longer to find her phone than she cared to admit. Especially as she had to keep pausing to close her eyes. Everything was so fucking loud and bright. 

WHY the fuck was everything in Heaven so illuminated all the fucking time??? 

She sighed with relief when she finally yanked her phone from where it was trapped, squinting and wincing as the vivid light from the screen assaulted her sensitive eyes. 

She had …fifty-thousand notifications.

Oh shoot.

She rubbed her face as she very quickly skimmed through, groaning the whole while. 

A handful seemed to be pictures the other girls were tagging her in. Great. That was just great.

The rest were… messages from Vaggie.

One VERY important one at the very top of the stack making her heart drop.

‘I’m coming over. Be there in five.’

No, no, no, no, NO!

VAGGIE COULD NOT SEE ADAM IN HER PLACE!!

It was bad enough SHE had to live with the knowledge of what happened last night. But for VAGGIE to find out??? She did not want to have that conversation.

She did not want to deal with the JUDGMENT.

She sprung to her feet, intending to go back to her room and tell Adam he needed to leave immediately. However, she was stopped when there was a knock at the door.

Vaggie huffed impatiently, tapping her foot as she waited for Lute to open her damn door.  

She was exhausted. Part of that was her own fault – she’d continued to party long after Lute and Adam had left, well into the early hours of the next morning. And when the party had ended, she wasn’t quite ready to go home so she’d continued celebrating by spending a little one-on-one time with another angel in their bed.  

It was no wonder she was so tired. She hadn’t slept a wink.   

The other reason she was exhausted, though, was because she’d been stressing all night about Lute leaving the party with Adam.  

Their boss, in Vaggie’s eyes, was nothing more than a selfish, womanizing piece of shit and it killed her to think that her friend had fallen victim to his apparent charm.

Lute. The baddest bitch in all of Heaven, who took no crap from anybody.

Lute, who would happily gut somebody with her sword without a second thought if they even looked at her the wrong way.  

Lute, who as far as she knew, had never gone home with anybody before.  

The door creaked open, mid-foot tap.  

“Hi.” Lute poked her head through the gap in the door. Vaggie winced – she looked like hell, and that was putting it nicely. Her hair resembled something more like a bird’s nest than her usual platinum crop, her eyes looked tired and her pale face had the faintest tinge of green to it.  

“You look awful.” Vaggie crossed her arms and glared at her friend. “Can I come in?”

“Um,” Lute looked back into her apartment nervously, filling Vaggie with a sense of dread.

He was fucking in there. She knew it.

“...Can you just give a minute? I just have to, um – ”  

“Nope.” Vaggie pushed the door open, eyes widening at the absolute state of Lute.  

Despite being what she would consider ‘good’ friends with her lieutenant, in the many years Vaggie had known Lute she had only ever seen her wear two things: her exorcist uniform in full, or training gear.

That was it.

No casual clothes, no fancy outfits. Even when the Exorcists hit the showers after training, Lute would always enter a private shower cubicle fully dressed, and exit the cubicle fully dressed. She’d never undress near the lockers, like their other sisters.  

So, to see her in nothing but her sheer underdress and plain black panties was something of a shock to Vaggie.  

“Is… is there something that I need to know?” Vaggie asked weakly, watching as Lute hastily folded her arms over her chest. “Because I’d rather you just tell me now and get it over with – ”  

“No,” Lute squeaked, in a tone that Vaggie had never heard before, the blush on Lute’s cheeks completely betraying her. “I was just getting ready for a shower.”  

“A shower,” Vaggie echoed, her eyes trailing to the black bra that hung over the lamp on Lute’s desk. She nodded at it, Lute’s eyes following and widening in horror when she realized what Vaggie was gesturing to. “Do you normally just… throw your underwear around your apartment when you take a shower?”  

“I put it there for... safekeeping.”  

Lute was a lot of things. Lethal. Ambitious. Downright terrifying, at times. One thing she was not, however, was a good liar.  

“Uh-huh,” Vaggie nodded slowly. “And your pants?” She pointed to the crumpled up pile of familiar black leggings that lay near Lute’s dining table. “Do they require safekeeping too?”  

Lute just swallowed in response and crossed her arms tighter.

“Lute,” Vaggie pleaded desperately, placing her hands on her friend’s shoulders. “Please tell me you didn’t?”

Lute recoiled away from the touch, her arms pressing tighter against herself.

How the fuck was she supposed to explain this??? ESPECIALLY when she wasn’t even sure exactly what happened!

She couldn’t even look Vaggie in the eyes. She didn’t want to. Not when she knew the girl would chastise her. She couldn’t deal with that. 

“I… don’t-“ Lute pressed her lips together.

WHY COULDN’T SHE BE A BETTER LIAR?

“No! Of course I didn’t.” She turned away completely from her sworn sister. Though she could feel Vaggie’s eyes boring holes into the back of her head.

Her wings tensed, eyes widening as she heard Adam in the bedroom.

No! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Vaggie could NOT know he was still here!

She spun on her heel, turning back to address her friend, order her out of the apartment, but before she could so much as utter a sound she felt her stomach whirl and bile fill her mouth.

“Oh, sh-“ Was all she managed to get out before she sprinted through her bedroom and into the bathroom, the door banging off the wall as she pushed it open.

She was lucky that she managed to make to the bathroom BEFORE she voided the contents of her stomach. Though just barely.

She was NEVER drinking again.

Vaggie had joined her in the bathroom at some point, she wasn’t sure when and she didn’t care given she felt like she was sick for decades.

Her head was throbbing, the room was spinning, she was nauseous and clammy… AND SHE STILL HAD NOT THE FAINTEST CLUE OF WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE.

“Please just kill me now and put an end to my suffering…” She muttered, head in her hands as she pulled away from the toilet.

She wanted to die. Death would certainly be better than whatever this was. 

Adam smirked to himself as he propped himself up on his elbows and tried to peer into Lute’s bathroom. He couldn’t see a lot of the action from where he was laying, although given how violently ill Lute was, he figured that was probably a good thing.  

“It’s alright, hon,” he heard Vaggie sigh, consoling Lute as she retched again. “I think after you’re done it’d be best if we got you into the shower and cleaned you up a bit.”  

“Can I watch?” Adam called from his spot on the bed, grinning. He didn’t feel too crash hot himself, and the sound of others vomiting made his own stomach churn, but he knew he’d get a good rise out of Vaggie if he riled her up a bit, and that would be well worth it.  

Besides, he wasn’t even sure if she’d seen him as she’d run past the bed, chasing Lute into the bathroom.  

Vaggie poked her head through the doorway. “What the fuck did you do to her?” she hissed, her almond eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. “She’s not in a good way, Adam!”  

“I didn’t do anything!” he proclaimed, sitting up. He saw Vaggie wince as she took in his near-nude body, the blanket draped over his lap hiding any trace of his underwear. “Oh lighten up Vag, as if you’re never seen a naked man before – actually wait, I take it back, you probably haven’t.” He spread his arms out proudly. “It is an honour to be the first – ”  

“Now I think I’m going to be sick,” Vaggie moaned, rubbing her eyes. “Why the hell are you so hairy?”  

Adam looked down at his chest, frowning. He wasn’t that hairy…

…was he?  

“What would you know, carpet muncher?” he shot back. “This is one hundred percent pure testosterone you’re looking at – and given I’m the First Man, I’m also the ideal man, so why don’t you – ”  

He was interrupted by another retch from Lute.  

“I don’t know what you did to her,” Vaggie growled, “But I’m going to put her in the shower and take her back to my place so she can recover in peace.”  

“Like fuck you’re taking her home, I’m taking care of her.”

“Yeah, coz you’re doing a real good job of it now, laying your lazy ass in bed while she pukes her guts up.”  

“I was getting up anyway to make us coffee, fucking calm your flaps.” Adam threw the blanket off his lap and rolled off the bed.  

Rolling wasn’t a good idea. His stomach churned violently as he steadied himself.  

“Could you at least put some clothes on?” she snarled. “I’ve already seen enough of your doughy dad-bod this morning.”  

“Fuck off! There’s nothing wrong with my body. Like you’re one to talk anyway you hypocrite, you’re still in your clothes from the night before. Did you do the walk of shame here?”  

Vaggie muttered something under her breath that Adam couldn’t quite make out and slammed the bathroom door shut.  

Whistling, he strode out into the living area and through to the kitchen.

Anyone would, and should be grateful to have a friend like Vaggie.

Lute was not among the grateful that morning.

Especially not when Vaggie tried to get her to step into the shower. She pulled away, borderline belligerent, her wings coming up around herself to cover herself.

“I can manage myself.” She hissed.

It was an absolute lie. She very much could not handle herself. She could barely stand upright, much less keep her eyes open.

Vaggie sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Well it’s either I help you or I go get our… erm, charming boss to do it.”

Lute jumped, her wings involuntarily smacking Vaggie into the sink.

“OR why don’t I shower myself?”

Vaggie looked at her flatly. “Lute you can BARELY stand. If it makes you feel any better just get in wearing what you have.” She turned on the water, pushing the lieutenant into the tub before she could protest.

Something Lute would be REMEMBERING when they got to the office on Monday.

She shrieked when the water hit her, making the sheer fabric even MORE see-through as he clung to her. In a panic, she tried to pull back from the water only to slip on the wet tile and fall, taking Vaggie down with her. 

“This is why. THIS right here is why I wasn’t going to let you shower on your own. You’d fucking KILL yourself.” Vaggie muttered as she moved her now soaking wet hair from her eyes.

Lute stayed on the floor of the shower for a moment longer, eyes squeezed shut. 

Her head was going to explode. 

“Seriously, Lute. Tell Adam to fuck off and get out of here. You’re not in your right mind and clearly he’s already done enough damage.”

Lute waved her hand blindly, eyes staying closed.

“He said he was making coffee.” She muttered, defending him despite the fact that she shouldn’t. 

BUT, if he left she might never piece together what happened the night before. And she sure as shit wasn’t leaving him alone in her apartment to look through all her stuff. 

Vaggie sighed, not bothering to waste her breath anymore. She turned on her heel and left the bathroom, hoping Lute wouldn’t drown in the shower while she found her a change of clothes. 

“What are you doing?” she asked Adam, emerging from Lute’s bedroom, hands on hips.  

“Performing a fucking baptism,” he shot back, watching the coffee begin to steep into the pot. “What does it look like, you dumb bitch?”  

If there was anything that got on Adam’s nerves, besides math, it was stupid questions.  

“I can see that, fuckstick. I mean, what are you doing with Lute?”  

Adam leaned against the counter and considered Vaggie’s question. Even though she was a moody pain in the ass, she cared about Lute. Genuinely.  

Maybe just this once, he could level with her.  

“I know you’re not going to believe me,” he said slowly, scratching the back of his neck. “But I mean it when I say nothing happened between us last night.”  

“Then why are you both barely clothed?”  

“Because I was drunk and got hot, and I stopped Lute from doing something she might have regretted, alright?” He turned away from Vaggie and filled three mugs with black coffee.

“Any other stupid questions?”  

Silence. And then, “No.”  

“Good. Do you take milk or sugar with your coffee? Or are you weird like Lute and only drink it black?” He added two spoonfuls of sugar and a considerably large splash of milk to one mug and took a sip instantly. “Oooh. That’s good.”   

“I’ll have mine when I get back. I’m going to grab some food.”

Vaggie reached for the handle of the front door and paused, turning back to Adam. 

“Lute’s just getting changed now. She… wasn’t too keen on the shower. I think it will help, though, so I’m glad I forced her in. Make sure she drinks that.” She nodded once at Adam – a rare civil gesture – and closed the door behind her.

Lute took SOME level of solace, she supposed, in the fact that Vaggie had helped her find new clothes. And had given her the privacy to change.

She at least felt… somewhat decent now. Even if her head was still pounding, she could face Adam with some level of dignity.

She made her way into the living area, the towel loosely draped over her head to keep the light away from her eyes.

And… to hide her face until the last possible second.

Once she got to the end of the hall, she rubbed the towel over her hair and pulled it down over her shoulders to catch whatever water might still be there.

Now or never.

She let out a breath, strolling into the kitchen as nonchalant as she could muster, head high, chest out. 

She deflated quickly though, her jaw clenching as she caught sight of Adam’s bare- EVERYTHING.

Heaven help her.

“Sir.” She slammed her hand down onto the counter, trying her best to maintain her composure.

“What happened last night? And don’t dance around the question.”

Adam took a sip of his coffee, sliding the mug he’d made for her across the counter. She stopped it with her hand.

“The Victory concert? We got hammered babe.”

Lute looked at the dark liquid swirling in the mug, before peering up at Adam flatly.

“I know that.” She hissed. “I mean AFTER we came back to my apartment.”

He smirked, once more raising the coffee to his lips.

“I already told you. You got freaky~” He winked, holding up his finger when she opened her mouth to protest.

Her eyebrow twitched.

“That isn’t helpful. Sir.”

“What do you want me to say, Dangertits? You wanted to fuck me on the couch,” He nodded to the living room. 

“The table, oh you were REALLY gunning for me to dick you down on the table-“

Lute cut him off, balling the towel up and throwing it at him. Gloriously, she managed to hit him directly in his smug stupid face.

Her own face was burning.

“My table? Of all the places in my apartment you’re telling me the TABLE is where I wanted to do it?”

Adam snickered, letting the towel drop to the floor.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t let me so much as walk away before you started stripping in some sort of little tantrum because I WOULDN’T fuck you on the table.”

She wanted to kill him.

Adam, First Man, he would die that day. 

Adam took one look at Lute’s face and he couldn’t hold his laughter in anymore.  

She was filthy with him.  

“Tell. Me. What. Happened,” she snarled. “I know where my knives are. You don’t.”  

Adam opened the drawer closest to him.

Knives. All perfectly polished with expertly sharpened blades. There were far too many of them for one angel living on her own – but then again, it was Lute, so it wasn’t the same level of shock as it would have been had they belonged to any other angel.  

“Wanna tell me when you started a side hustle as a butcher, babe?” Adam asked, taking another sip of coffee. “Coz, really, you don’t need this many – ”  

“I’ll butcher you in a minute,” Lute growled, “If you don’t shut up and fill in the gaps from last night.”

Adam held up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, calm the fuck down.” He rubbed a hand against his jaw and sighed.

He had no idea how she was going to take what went down last night – but she needed to know, and he really didn’t feel like talking her out of wielding a knife at him today.

He nodded towards her mug, still untouched on the bench. “I’ll tell you, but you’re going to want to drink that before it gets cold.”  

Lute eyed the cup wearily before glancing back in his direction, pointedly averting her eyes so she was looking somewhere over his left shoulder.

“...could you at least get dressed first?” she asked weakly.  

“Nope. This is how I came into this world – well, almost – and it’s how I intend to stay today. I will, however – ” He bent down and leaned his forearms on the counter opposite Lute, the lower part of his body mostly obscured from her view.

“ – stand here so I don’t catch you checking out my junk. My eyes are up here, remember?” He pointed to his golden eyes and grinned, watching Lute roll her eyes and reach for her cup.

“Alrighty, story time. What do you remember from the concert?”  

“I-” She pressed her lips together and glanced sideways. “I saw you doing a shot off that bitch. Layla...” There was a bite to Lute’s voice when she said Layla’s name that caught Adam off-guard.

He cocked his head, frowning, trying to recall the moment.  

“That was at the start of the night,” Adam said slowly, studying Lute, who had gone practically fluorescent and was making every effort to not look at him. Instead, she was intensely studying the black coffee in the mug she held between her hands. There was no fucking way black coffee could be that interesting.

“Lute – did you drink yourself stupid because you were jealous?”  

“No!” she cried indignantly. “...I just thought, that maybe, it might be fun to have a drink or two, that’s all.”

“Well, you didn’t just have a drink or two. You mixed at least four different drinks, including, from what Vaggie said last night, at least a full bottle of wine.”  

“No wonder I feel so crap.” she muttered, still not meeting his eye.  

“Yeah.” Adam snorted, draining the last of his coffee and setting his mug down on the bench. “Given the fact that you’re a giant overachiever, I’m not surprised you drank yourself stupid. Don’t ever pull that shit again. It’s dangerous, and you could have fucked yourself up pretty hardcore. Understood?”  

Lute continued to stare into the depths of her cup, head bowed, damp hair hiding her face.  

Adam sighed and rubbed his face. It was time to cut the bullshit and come clean.  

“Babe, nothing happened last night. I promise. I wasn’t lying when I said you were an animal – you initially wanted to fuck me on a table in front of everybody, which was when I decided to take you home and put you to bed.”  

“I did not say that.”  

“Well, no, you didn’t say it, but you certainly screamed it,” he smirked and ran a hand through his hair, trying to remember their surroundings at the time. “If it makes you feel any better, I think only Vaggie heard.”

“It doesn’t. So what happened when we got back here?”  

“Oh, before I get into that – you tried to fight Layla on the dance-floor. I think she accidentally bumped into you, and you flew off the handle at her and wanted to throw hands.”  

“She should have watched where she was dancing, then.” Lute’s tone was decidedly miffed. 

“I think it was an accident, Lute. And stop getting your panties in a twist about Layla. She’s a good time and a nice chick, but that’s about the extent of our relationship.”  

“And I’m not.” Lute finally tore her eyes from her coffee and glared at Adam, hurt evident in her own eyes as she stared him down like she was daring him to deny her statement.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was far, far too much to unpack in what she’d said, and his head was already fucking pounding.  

“I didn’t say that, so cut the self-deprecating bullshit. You’re the bane of my fucking existence some days, but you’re the baddest bitch in Heaven. My top girl. There’s nobody else I’d rather have as my right-hand woman. Does that make you feel better?”

“No.”  

“Well, let me put it this way – I like a good time, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not what matters most to me. Got it?”  

Lute said nothing, absentmindedly tapping a finger against her mug instead.  

“Anyway. We got back here, and I tried to get you to sober up by giving you water, but you were all worked up over something. Turns out, you were just horny as fuck and you kissed me there on that couch.”  

“You said nothing happened!” she wailed, burying her face in her hands as she leaned her elbows on the counter.  

“When I say nothing happened, I mean we didn’t sleep together. But fuck, Lute, I’m not gonna lie to you – it was headed that way. I had you up on your table and was about to start ripping your clothes off with my teeth before I realized something.”  

“What?” she groaned into her fingers.  

��I realized that when it happens – and I’m not saying the word if because I know it’s only a matter of time before it does happen – we both need to be in the right frame of mind. Not blind drunk. So, I put a stop to it.”  

Lute separated her ring and middle fingers, her bright eyes peering out at him from the gaps she’d created.  

“Lute? Say something?”

She didn’t want to say something.

She wasn’t even sure she could breathe in that moment given her BOSS just admitted that he fully expected them to fuck sometime in the near future. But not only did he expect them to fuck he expected it to be without any alcohol.

Her heart thumped wildly against her ribcage, her face burning hot.

Was she… excited? Anxious? Was that what she was feeling? SHAME? How the fuck was she supposed to process or accept that in any capacity? She wasn’t supposed to be into him like that!

Only to realize that she still hadn’t answered him and he was looking at her like she’d dropped her halo.

Speak. She needed to speak.

She cleared her throat, straightening up. Her eyes dropped down to the countertop and away from Adam, her hands smoothing out a stray napkin that was setting close by.

“I… recognize my behavior was… unprofessional.” She winced when Adam started laughing.

“Unprofessional? That ship sailed LONG before we got back to your place.”

She pressed her lips together, brows furrowed as she kept her full attention on the napkin. In particular she kept her attention on a wrinkle that wouldn’t come out.

“…But, thank you for… stopping me from doing anything foolish….Sir…” She felt her cheeks burn hotter.

She might not have been looking at him but she could FEEL his smug expression on her.

Any second he’d laugh again. Any second he’d poke fun. 

But he didn’t. Instead he reached out and gently took her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“Like I said,” He started, the sound of his coffee mug being set down on the counter hitting her ears.

“We need to be in the right frame of mind. Cause that’ll be a day I want you to remember~”

Lute’s eyes flicked up ever so briefly before she looked back down. She rubbed her temple, her headache returning with a vengeance.

She cleared her throat again, her breath hitching as she felt Adam, very gently, place a kiss on her forehead.

He then shifted around the counter, hoisting her up into his arms bridal style.

“Sir!” She yelped.

“What are you doing???”

“Simple, you have a headache. I know I have a headache. Standing around here isn’t going to help so let’s just call it and go back to bed.”

She covered her face with her hands once more as he carried her back into her room, easing her down gently onto the mattress before climbing next to her.

He then very deliberately took one of the spare pillows and placed it over his crotch.

“Don’t want you getting any ideas.” He winked, snickering as Lute involuntarily smacked him square in the chest.

“Ouch! Hey, see? I was smart. Now I’m fucking protected!”

Lute rolled her eyes, shifting to get herself comfortable and falling silent in the hopes her headache would fade. She just needed to go back to sleep.

Shockingly, Adam also fell silent. It was startling him not speaking for so long that Lute was the one to break the silence.

“Sir?” She asked, her voice small.

“Hmm?”

“You’re not going to fire me over this?”

He frowned, propping himself up on his arm.

“Why would I fucking do that? Didn’t you hear me? You’re my top girl.”

“I was just making absolutely sure, Sir.” She pressed her lips together, falling silent again as Adam readjusted his position and closed his eyes.

“Sir?”

“Yeah?”

“Are… you going to tell Sera about this?”

Adam cracked open an eye, choosing to scoot closer to close the distance between them, his legs bumping up against hers. 

Of course, the pillow was still there because the first man was apparently choosing THAT particular moment to be modest.

“What Sera doesn’t know won’t kill her.” He shrugged.

“Besides, it was our Victory concert. Everyone goes wild that night. You just decided to be fucking insane.”

Lute glanced off to the side, only to pause when she felt Adam’s fingers brush against her cheek.

“It’s okay though. Keeps Heaven interesting. You being fucking nuts.”

She inadvertently leaned into his touch, bringing her hand up to hold his wrist, a small smirk on her lips as she closed her eyes.

Vaggie didn’t bother announcing when she came back given she expected to see them in the kitchen.

BUT NO. No, they’d decided to leave their half-empty coffee mugs on the counter.

She hated to consider what that meant given Adam was a party in all this. There was no telling what he could pressure Lute into. Not that Lute was seemingly at all unwilling most times.

Then again, it wasn’t out of the realm of reason that Lute had just gotten sick again. Even IF she probably didn’t have anything left in her stomach by that point that didn’t mean she wouldn’t still dry heave.

The exorcist sighed, placing the bag of food on the counter as she made her way down the hall towards Lute’s bedroom.

She paused when she heard whispering, peering through the door to see them… in bed?

She waited a moment, weighing her options. If she went in there and disturbed them - EVEN if she wanted to on principle - Lute would be FURIOUS with her. If she did nothing… well… she’d probably be fine.

After a long moment she sighed, deciding to leave the apartment for the time being.

She’d send a text checking in later. But for now, she’d let them rest and sleep off their hangovers.

Hopefully, it would benefit all of them come Monday.

[deadgirlwalking91]

I’ve been keeping a secret… turns out @branded-rose isn’t just my beta reader… she is also my CO-AUTHOR!

Enjoy this sneak peek from our upcoming collab, ‘Drunk Minds Speak Sober Thoughts’, a #guitarspear one shot that follows the adventures of Lute as she decides to let loose at the post-Extermination Day party.

It could also be a study on why Vaggie is the best friend an angel could ever have.

Of course, a collab with this amazing artist wouldn’t be complete without her stunning artwork of our favourite deranged angels! Doesn’t Lute look like a doll? And what’s gotten Adam all flustered?

Full fic to be uploaded very soon! Stay tuned! 👀

“Right, hold tight babe. After all these years, it’s finally happening. You and me, we’re hitting the dance floor!” In one swift motion, he hoisted her up over his shoulder and strode out to the packed crowd, Lute’s protests drowned out by the thumping music.

Lute propped herself up with her arms, doing her best to wriggle off of his shoulder as she was unwillingly carried to the dance floor.

Normally, she might’ve protested more. But the alcohol, admittedly, was beginning to get to her, if not entirely overwhelm her.

Her self-restraint was reasonably inhibited at the very least. At the most? She was pleasantly numb. And for once… that was nice? 

She didn’t have to worry about the stack of paperwork or what the seraphim might say if they heard about this party in the morning.

She could just… exist and do what she wanted.

In other words, she found herself giddy, a small giggle escaping her lips as she was carried on.

“Sir. I… can’t dance.” Or at least she’d never danced before to her knowledge. Never mind whatever… dancing was being done in that moment.

She felt the world spin as she felt Adam whip her off his shoulder, nearly stumbling backwards as she landed unsteadily on her feet.

Adam caught her hand, pulling her back into him.

“What? That’s ******* ridiculous. ANYONE and their mother can dance if they want to.” He placed his other hand on her waist to steady her.

She felt her face heat up again, very aware of the close proximity of their bodies.

She didn’t pull back though.

“… I’ll follow you.”

Adam pulled a smirk, bringing his hand up to tap near her ear.

“Just listen to the music. Move with the beat!” He started sliding side to side, his movements getting gradually more overt the longer the song carried on.

She watched him, trying to copy, her brows furrowed in concentration. Every so often her eyes would flick to his face, looking for reassurance that she was doing it right.

She apparently was not, given he chuckled and shook his head. Or she assumed he chuckled at least. She could barely hear him over the music.

“Dangertits! You need to LOOSEN. UP. Here-“ He moved to stand behind her, his hands finding her hips and applying just enough pressure for her to get the hint that she needed to move.

She stiffened briefly as she felt his chin near her ear, his hot breath on her neck.

“Move WITH me, not against me. Come on you’re stiff as a board.” He moved his hand up the tiniest bit, cackling as her wings tried to flap involuntarily but were kept immobile by his proximity.

In her defense she wasn’t really listening to the music. She couldn’t really hear it over the roaring of her heart in her ears.

Was she breathing? 

Air might be good.

She took a very loud, deep breath. 

“Sorry S-IR!” She was cut off as Adam took her hand and spun her very quickly, only to immediately snap her back towards him before she had any time to process what was going on.

“There we go! Get those feet going!”

A laugh erupted from Lute’s lips as she was spun around again.

“Sir!”

Adam snickered, his arms coming around to trap her against him as her momentum carried them close once more. 

His mouth found her ear so that she could hear him. 

“Did I just hear the most bad*** ***** in the army laugh? No blood? No guts? Just laugh on the dance floor?”

----------------------------

Drunk minds speak sober thoughts~

I am overly excited to announce that the amazing @deadgirlwalking91 and I have been working on a Guitarspear fic together! It was originally supposed to be short but it turned into something WAY more expansive than we ever thought it could be initially. I am so, SO glad we started this project because it has been an ABSOLUTE joy to write.

Stay tuned for the full release of "Drunk Minds Speak Sober Thoughts" on her blog. ;D

Adam & Lute © Viziepop/A24 Artwork © Branded-Rose Writing © Branded-Rose & @deadgirlwalking91

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

the duo

vaggie looking at charlie

vaggie looking at anyone else

vaggie looking at the love of her life

vaggie having to look at other ppl

vaggie when her gf looks at her

vaggie when someone new drops by the hotel

Vaggie @ Charlie constantly: "Anything for you sweetie~ I have faith in you~"

vaggie @ her other friends: "You morons had better not kill each other while im not looking or i SWEAR-"

[anonymouscheeses]

Hazbin infection AU (green virus)

All in the name of love.

I'll put full colored comic on my tiktok under: anonymousecheeze

(Once I'm done of course. Which would be, knowing me, probably 900 years)

For now though you can put in asks to know a bit abt this au (if I have the answers. We haven't finished workshopping. Maybe never will lmao)

[jalicecookie]

Duck or Treat?

A very Oktober Halloween(ish) Gift for the wonderful @ritualofcirice and her work Hazbin Hotel Imagines and Scenarios Chapter 3 : When Lucifer gave you your fiftieth Duck <3

While going Trick or Treat with Niffty an Halloween, Things not go as planned for you and you´re met with the Question - Duck or Treat.

Trigger Warning: NICU, premature Birth, Fear, Hospital Stay

“But Dazzle would look so cute in that costume” -  a sigh escaped your lips as you demonstratively held up the little ketchup bottle-style costume and put all your persuasion,  into convincing Charlie that Razzle or Dazzle could wear a costume for the annual Halloween. But the two bodyguards of the Princess of Hell were not keen and had hidden somewhere in the hotel.

“And Razzle would wear a matching outfit - ketchup and mustard” -  were your additional words and with a reach into one of the bags on the floor, you conjured up the second costume intended for Razzle.

A Halloween mustard bottle outfit. It would have been such a great combination and in your opinion Razzle and Dazzle already looked cute in general... only the costumes would have made them even cuter.

“Darling? Maybe our demon cat told Razzle and Dazzle that you put the hamburger costume on her and wanted to take her trick or treating with Niffty?”  - Lucifer gently placed a hand on your right shoulder. His words made sense.

“Oh yes, I think Razzle and Dazzle are hiding together with your cat, buuuuut Niffty is already excited, she hasn't talked about anything else for last days” -  Charlie said with a smile and took both of the packed costumes from you.

“Maybe we can use one of the costumes for the baby , when it comes in a few months and celebrates its first Halloween?”  - Charlie changed the subject and your hand automatically went to your Stomach,  resting gently on the fabric of your dress.

“Four more months... maybe I should have dressed up as a duckling, hm Luci?” -  you replied and with one hand you reached for Lucifer's to squeeze it gently.

The duck in the oven surprise was a few months ago and since that, you told almost everyone, the public's focus has been on you, more than ever.

And Charlie and Lucifer's concern for your well-being has increased.

But it's still four months until the birth date.

Nevertheless, the thought of all the holidays and special moments , that you could experience with your baby, the family and Lucifer enchants you. The little girl would be loved and protected by everyone.

"And what are you supposed to portray?" -  came the question from Angel, who had sprinkled a little orange glitter in his hair for Halloween and an upcoming shoot for a Halloween spin-off in Valentino's studio.

"Isn't that obvious?"  - Husk commented from the bar and you smiled at the grumpy bartender. He hadn't dressed up and you had already known it.

"Oh? And what exactly is the not so obvious?" -  Angel countered cluelessly.

“A strawberry” -  was Husk’s answer.

“I thought you were supposed to be a tomato… oh” -  said Lucifer, surprised.

You reached into one of the bags again and a small strawberry handbag and a green hat completed your outfit.

“I was already wearing it , when we went through the entrance to the hotel, but it’s a bit warm here today… but yes, Husk is right. I’m a strawberry for Halloween” - you giggled and it was a simple Halloween costume. But sufficient.

“A pregnant strawberry, how cute!” -  giggled Niffty, who came running into the entrance area of ​​the hotel in her Halloween costume and the sight elicited an amused laugh from you. Charlie, Angel and Husk also had to smile.

Because Niffty had put a lot of effort into her costume. She had sewn it by hand and of course chose a bad boy from the last few decades.

A serial killer costume.

Michael Myers.

She had styled her hair a little messier and the dark suit that was typical for Michael Myers had been changed into a knee-length dark two-piece dress and heels along with one of the kitchen knives, which completed her Halloween outfit.

“Exactly, Niffty… or should I say Michael Myers?” -  you said to Niffty who gave you a proud smile and a few moments later a Halloween bucket appeared in both your free hand and Niffty’s hand.

“Don’t forget to smile Ladies!”,  said Alastor from the reception before he and his shadow wrapped themselves in a dark cloud and disappeared.

“Alastor wanted to record a special podcast for Halloween… unfortunately he’s not coming with us”,  explained Niffty and rustled the bag once.

“Oh, he’s already put some sweets in the bags. How nice of him”, you said happily and heard Lucifer quietly grinding his teeth.

“Could be poisoned and….”

“Daaad! Alastor is really trying to be nice!”

“Char-Char it….”

“Dad! Would he try to poison Niffty or the mother of my little sister and your daughter?”

“No?”

You could hear Lucifer wanting to say something else, but the ringing of his cell phone interrupted him. He let go of your hand, walked a few steps away and talked on the phone for a moment.

“I'm afraid I'll have to join you later... there's a meeting scheduled with my brothers and sisters... I'd really like to skip it, I told Asmodeus and Leviathan , that we wanted to go trick or treating with Niffty and....”  - Lucifer had a pained expression on his face, but you completely understood. He was the king of hell, one of the seven deadly sins, and had obligations and duties that he had to fulfill.

“No problem Luci, we'll take care of ourselves and I think with Michael Myers by my side , nothing can happen to me”,  you said lovingly and gave him a kiss on the cheek. If he has to go to this meeting, then so be it.

Lucifer smiled gratefully and then said goodbye.

You say goodbye to Charlie, who waves to you and Niffty as you leave the hotel, and then you set off with the little cyclops in your Halloween costumes,  to visit the first shops and houses to do the well-known trick or treating.

It was something completely different to on earth.

Treat came first and usually something ends in flames or chaos if you have crappy candy... or don't open the door in the first place.

The children of hell, however, had a special position, got lots of candy and soon Niffty's little bucket was filled with lots of candy, a card for teeth cleaning at a Dentist Place, a poisonous green apple and a bracelet with a spider web design.

You also got a few things as a companion... candy and a saying like - well, pretty strawberry all alone? Niffty had scared the guy when she rang the bell and hit the air with the kitchen knife. She really took her role seriously. You shouldn't underestimate Michael Myers and the Strawberry Duo.

"What about the house? Does it belong to someone?", you nod once to an old building on the outskirts of the city, which was dilapidated and didn't look like it belonged to anyone...but appearances are deceptive, because as soon as you asked the question, a Hellborn with a broad smile appeared on the ground with a little yellow smoke.

"May I recommend our latest scare project to these costumed Halloween visitors? A Hunted House! For just a small entrance fee, there is an almost hour-long tour of scares and horror!", the Hellborn said mysteriously.

"Oh, that sounds exciting. Do you want to do that?", Niffty grabbed your free hand and you couldn't say no.

Maybe it was because of the baby fever,  that was flaring up or because the cyclops was so small, but the pleading expression on Niffty's face triggered something in you that made you nod.

“A haunted house, huh? Let's see if we can scare the ghosts there!” - were your words, and after paying the entrance fee, the spooky fun could begin.

You ignore the slight stomach ache , that makes you grimace when you enter. That's probably from eating sweets. According to Niffty, that's part of a trick or treating trip. And you ate a lot of them as you went from house to house.

The Hellborn hadn't under-promised, the haunted house was much darker and scarier on the inside than it seemed.

There were scare actors, hidden rooms... spooky decorations and something that looked like the shadow of a real ghost.

The goal was to find a way to the exit through the labyrinth of rooms, stairs, secret rooms and hiding places. And it was fun... to get scared and discover the little details of the haunted house... the fog that suddenly appeared enveloped it in an even scarier atmosphere.

Up to the point where you and Niffty parted ways.

A trapdoor had opened under your feet and pulled you down to a lower floor... into the basement and Niffty's outraged cries had been swallowed up by the dark walls of the basement.

Nothing had happened to you when you hit the floor, a mattress had been provided and a few flashlights had been switched on for the visitors to light up the way in the darkness. You weren't afraid. The relationship with Lucifer and moving into the king's castle had given you a little more self-confidence.

When you turned the next corner and met a scar actor in a zombie outfit with one eye hanging out, you were frightened and let out a surprised scream... but you didn't expect the intense stomach pain that brought your body to its knees.

An intense pain took your breath away. For a moment, everything went everything goes black. The colors start to fade and the zombie comes a few steps closer, waving his axe in front of you and making... zombie noises.

"Aaaaaah!"-  you scream, full of fear.

Real fear... something is wrong... your body is clearly signaling that something is wrong... and that it has nothing to do with the haunted house.

When something warm runs down your legs, you are confused... before a new threshold of pain causes you to scream louder, scared and panicked.

Tears form in your eyes and at that moment the scare actor , also realizes that something is wrong and contacts the owner of the haunted house via walkie talkie.

Only when the new wave of pain hits do you guess the reason.

It wasn't the zombie scare actor's great performance... that was premature labor.

But… it was much too early and… you instinctively push… a reaction from your body, while around you quick steps approached the basement… you are now lying on your back on the cold floor… another scream escapes you as your hands search for something to hold on to, but you can’t get a hold of anything, expect the gold ground.

Another contraction causes you to push, the panic and fear for your baby manifests itself in your brain. This isn’t how it should be… you… you… should have four more months left....four months of pure Happyness and looking forward to be a parent....to promise Lucifer he is going to be a good dad, he did a very good job with charlie after all....to have late night Walks in the Park with Lucifer, to kiss him good morning and in renturn he first gaves you a kiss on the forehead, and than a kiss on the stomach for the little baby girl.

It was much too early!

The next wave of pain exhausts you… your vision blurs and you feel, only half awake, how Niffty rushes to your side and grabs your hand, begging you to stay with her… the ambulance is on the way and you would be going to the hospital… but your eyes closed too fast....it went dark too fast.

Bright light blinds you as you open them again. The voices of the nurse and doctors are so loud. Your hand automatically goes to your stomach... your now flat stomach. Where is your BABY!? In a panic, you want to jump up and flee from the hospital bed, but a kind nurse stops you and the doctor treating you takes away your fear.

                                                                            ***

“There we have our patient again, don't worry, her little daughter is fine... she is in an incubator in the premature baby ward of the hospital, we will take her to her right away. Please rest” said the doctor.

She... is alive? Your baby, who was born four months early... survived? Was she okay? What happend to Niffty?

“How... what... and Niffty?”

What had happened to Niffty... was she still in the haunted house?

“Your companion threatened our head doctor, if he doesn't provide the best possible treatment and a single room for you and the baby... he will suffer...a lot” -  was the nurse's answer with a slightly tortured laugh.

“If…if they’re afraid of Niffty, they’re scared of my Partner”

Lucifer would be terribly worried…hopefully he had finished his meeting with the other sins…damn overthinking and people pleasing…another habit of yours.

You were soon taken to your private room and were able to see your baby for the first time.

The incubator frightened you…all the tubes and wires the baby was connected to, the beeping monitors and equipment monitoring her vital signs…the feeding tube that had been put in…the little body rising and falling as she breathed and the fact that she had come into this world too early.

Tears welled up in your eyes and you were scared. Terribly scared.

The nice nurse and doctor, however, assured you that the technological standards and the chances of survival were good, even for hell.

And as the partner of the King of Hell, you would take extra good care of Mother and baby.

You were told what to look out for, how important it was that no germs got into the incubator and that you should make physical contact with the baby as soon as possible, talk to her a lot, sing to her...caring for you and your premature baby , would be unusual for both of you...but you were in good hands.

Your body, after you had assured yourself that the heart rate on one of the screens remained constant...craved rest...and you dared to go into a restless sleep. Sleep that your body desperately needed.

Several hours later, you were woken up by the gentle sounds of an all too familiar violin.

Lucifer sat by the baby's incubator and hummed the song - Hush little Baby  - quietly accompanied by the music on the violin.

Another reason besides the hormones and the event that caused your inner dams to collapse and made you start to cry.

Silent…quietly just so as not to interrupt your partner's beautiful violin playing…but Lucifer notices it and is quickly at your side…apologizes to you so many times, even though he has done nothing wrong.

He is super careful, gives you several gentle kisses on the cheek and head of hair and swears to make the owner of the Haunted House suffer for putting you into premature labor.

“Luci….my Love, I don’t think it was the Haunted House’s fault….there are many reasons for a premature birth….we’ll be fine….will you stay with us….just a little bit, please Luci? I….am scared”, you whisper and grab your partner’s hands.

Lucifer stayed overnight.

The King of Hell had slept in a chair and you had woken up in a panic almost every time the machines used to monitor your daughter’s vital functions started beeping loudly.

Something else you’ll have to get used to…future false alarms,  from the technical equipment while your baby is sleeping peacefully.

The nurses and the doctor treating you,  are doing their best to take away your fear and worry...but mother and baby still have to stay in the hospital for a while...and it will be almost two weeks before Charlie and Vaggie can visit the intensive care unit.

"Naaaaaaw, she's so small and cute! Look at her Vaggie!", -  cooed Charlie and could hardly tear himself away from the incubator and quietly talk to her little sister in baby talk , while Vaggie stood next to her partner.

Now that your body was feeling a little better, you sat down on one of the armchairs on Lucifer's lap and laid your head on his shoulder.

Your partner had been with you as often as possible at night, trying to support you where he could...and of course placed the large - congratulations it's a girl - gift basket from Ozzie and Fizzy in the room.

The sympathy for the birth of the other deadly sins was so heartwarming and the congratulations cards from the hotel residents, had made you cry tears of joy.

The public knew nothing about the premature princess. Lucifer, together with Queen Bee and Charlie, had silenced the media for the time being... you should enjoy and use the few weeks of peace that you still have left... because media hype and photos for the press were out of place.

"We don't have a name yet but... her middle name should be Charlotte" -  you say and snuggle up to Lucifer, who lovingly strokes your hair. Which causes Charlie to let out an even more touched naaaaaw.

"Babe, we still have something for mother and child remember?", said Vaggie after another fifteen minutes in which Charlie had only looked devotedly at the sleeping baby in the incubator.

"Oh yes, of course... surprise!"  - Charlie handed you a small bag.

You recognized the logo of the Halloween outfitter immediately.

Curiously, you reached into the bag and were able to pull out a set of three Halloween costumes.

"But these are..."

“Duck family costumes!” - Lucifer finished your sentence enthusiastically.

“Then you have a mama duck, daddy duck and baby duck for the coming next years Halloween!” -  Charlie listed enthusiastically.

You didn't miss the fact that the princess' eyes started to light up when you said the word baby. Well, sounds like if someone start to get baby fever?

“Thanks Charlie and Vaggie... it's perfect!” -  you thanked him and Lucifer also expressed his thanks.

“Then we already have a theme for the next year coming Halloween” -  you said and looked lovingly at the baby duck costume... it would be a long time before your baby would fit into it.

“No haunted houses for the both you!”  - Lucifer said seriously straight away.

You give him a loving kiss on the mouth and add the following sentence.

“I was thinking more of something like - Duck or Treat?”

                                                 THE END

AO3

[inkperch]

In the vaggie carmine au if vaggie and velvette are close what do the other Vs think over vaggie?

Val: so, how's that adorable little girlf-

Vel: breathe within a foot of her and you'll be eating through a tube for the rest of eternity.

[ybcomplicated]

its no wonder Charlie landed a beautiful, badass woman like Vaggie- i mean she has Lucifer as a dad and she definatly got more than her looks from him- if u know what i mean

Tell me this isnt the face of a girl who is definatly gonna go to town on her gf the moment they hit the bedroom

[alastors-left-antler]

alastor and vaggie get stoned and listen to system of a down together send tweet

[julsiemagne]

Amazon article called Vaggie Charlie's bff?????? 😭

[correlance]

I did @lolbital's Hazbin Hotel OC relationship chart for my Charlie and Alastor fan child, Lucille! I'm currently working on a Charlastor "arranged marriage AU", along with my two other Charlastor WIPs.

[luisidehustle]

Hazbin Hotel my beloathed

decided to do a rewrite of Hazbin w a friend of mine, if y’all are interested in more of this shit lmk lol

I DO NOT SUPPORT VIVZIEPOP

[malkshayke]

Totally forgot to post this lol. It started off as a nearly forgotten sketch in my high school notebook a couple years ago. Had no idea it would make a come back (and in such a similar pose to a cannon scene!)

I love these two so much. They actually LIKE and support each other, which is rare to see on screen fr. I find them so refreshing💖💖💖

And yes, this is a repost from reels lol

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

*Holydust friendship:Adam sneaking to see Steve(who is obviously bad news)* Adam:If you won't help me,then I'm leaving without your self Angel:.....VAGGIE,lUCIFER,HE'S SNEAKING OFF TO SEE HIS DRUG GIVING BOYFRIEND AGAIN! Adam:You little-!

Adam: You little narc why!!?

Lucifer: Nope you're staying right here.

Vaggie: Oh look you have more chores to do. I suggest you do them.

Angel: It's because I love you that I do this.

Adam: Fucking Christ Angel.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

imagining Charlie having an Oh moment when she finds Vaggie napping in a chair one day, early on, with Razzle and Dazzle sprawled out over Vaggie like they're trying to cover as much of her small body as they can with their own even smaller ones-

Charlie pulls out her phone and stealthily inches closer for a picture (she's doesn't' wanna wake them she swears) (she's just never seen something so cuuuuute-)

but a floor board squeaks and Razzle cracks an eye open to glower while Dazzle shushes her

and Charlie stops

There's another Oh... moment, because they've never shushed her before. They were brought to life to keep her safe and they've always only cared about that one thing- it took months for them to stop following Vaggie around the house suspiciously, like they always did with anyone Charlie tried having a relationship with, like a pair of silent, plush guard dogs-

(glaring at Vaggie from shadows, from across the table at breakfast and dinner, from the pillows directly over her head when Charlie finally convinced her maybe sharing a bed would help with the night terrors)

-but that'd all changed, at some point. Only, Charlie hadn't noticed until now

now she does. Now suddenly, she wonders

Charlie creeping over on silent, careful hooves, to gently stroke between the tiny wings of her childhood friends, looking from them to Vaggie's relaxed and sleeping face (getting a little lost watching her, for moment) (reaching out to tuck back a strand of the hair Vaggie is growing out long, accidently stroking Vaggie's cheek, forgetting to take her hand away afterwards) (the longer hair is hard not to play with, she excuses)

Charlie leaning in and asking Razzle and Dazzle, in the softest whisper-

"....are you keeping her safe for me?"

a pair of soft little churrs rising up in answer. Two little plush demons, snuggling closer to Vaggie as Vaggie frowns in her sleep, shifting restlessly, stirring-

Charlie freezing bc she has NO idea what to say if Vaggie wakes up and finds her- well. looming kinda?? while Vaggie SLEEPS???

it feels different than just already being there when Vaggie wakes up in the night, different in how waking up like that was normal when they'd gone to bed together, but crouching down to STARE at someone like this, with your hand still on her cheek, scared to move it in case that REALLY wakes her up when she DIDN'T get much sleep last night and DIDN'T wake you up that time for some reason so you couldn't snuggle her or make her feel better and now you might startle her instead or make her feel awkward which you hate- you don't want her to ever feel awkward around you-

it doesn't matter though

because Vaggie settles down again, as Dazzle croons quietly and Razzle reaches out a little paw to gently press her arm

she used to jump and flinch a little every time she saw them

when did that change?

these days she flicks little snacks at them from off her plate, no matter how many times Charlie reminds her they have their OWN plates and their OWN donuts and are just begging to get ATTENTION, the little show-stealers-

(not like Charlie's doing that too by complaining) (noooooo) (not like she grins like an idiot when Vaggie smiles and says cute things deserve a little extra attention, while looking over at Charlie instead)

these days any annoying demon who comes looking to curry favor with Lucifer (or trying pulling one over Morningstar's "naïve" daughter) gets pinned by THREE dangerous glares while waiting at the door for Charlie to hurry downstairs and meet them

(or rather shoo them away before they say something too not nice and Vaggie grabs her spear while Razzle and Dazzle get within ankle biting range)

when she thinks about it, things have been different for a while now

better. They've been better, and Charlie still doesn't know when or how it happened, and maybe that part doesn't matter so much anyway

in the present, Charlie takes the chance to retrieve her hand (reluctantly..) so she can slip off her jacket and tuck it around the three of them- Razzle, Dazzle. Vaggie- her two old friends and one new but very important one-

important enough to be considered part of her, by them as were created to protect her

and that's a new idea too. but she likes it a lot, she thinks

she likes being part of a family again

-

Vaggie wakes up a good solid two hours of nap time later with Razzle and Dazzle draped over her like furry boas and Charlie's head in her lap, a former Exorcist absolutely COVERED in cuddly demons-

she stays completely still for another hour more afterwards, stiff neck be damned, watching the three of them sleep. Smiling.

.... (it's only the three of them, later)

(when vaggie flutters up and finds razzle curled up on dazzle's memorial, the night after the battle. when she tucks him into her shoulder and heads back to her and charlie's rebuilt room. as a relieved and teary eyed charlie scoops him up and the three up them huddle together under vaggie's reformed wings)

(it's only three of them... but part of why charlie cries that night is knowing dazzle did his job- vaggie is still here)

(dazzle did his best. and for everything charlie lost, the old hotel, too many of the cannibals who followed her, almost all the egg bois, sir pentious, dazzle himself, the faith that she could solve all this without anyone getting hurt...)

(she didn't lose the part of herself that'd held her together the night before the battle, held so many other times, through family calls and failed meetings with heaven) (she didn't lose vaggie-)

(and some of charlie's tears that night, for dazzle, are grateful)

(he died trying to keep charlie safe. and he did. he did)

[statiicstag]

[ tag dump ]

[adyophene]

Radiotrio day 6: Roleswap!

Alastor - Charlie

Husk - Vaggie

Niffty - Angeldust

Deets under cut!

"Alastor":

Alastor is actually Cain going under a pseudonym. He's trying to redeem sinners not out of the goodness of his heart, but as a fuck you towards Adam, his estranged deadbeat Father. He vaguely believes redemption is possible, but on the outside he gives off the vibe of thinking its nonsense. Eve, who is in hell, is the one payrolling the whole thing. As the first Sinner in hell she holds a bit of power. (Eve - Lucifer swap)

Al exclusively advertises the Hotel through radio commercials and jingles and doesn't really care that it is probably is why no one knows about it.

"Husk":

A fallen angel who always fucked off and drank and gambled during exterminations instead of killing sinners. When he caught his wings were chopped off and he was left for dead. Alastor found him and offered him a deal. Al would keep Husk's identity secret so long as Husk worked for him. Husk tried to refuse and goad Al into finishing him off, but was instead lured into a bet. He lost and became Al's right hand cat.

Husk doesn't believe in redemption at all. He is trapped in Heaven's mindset that once you fucked up you're done forever. He puts up with Al's antics with a heavy amount of booze.

Niffty:

Hell's favorite killing machine. Niffty is a weapons spokesperson working for Carmilla. She's recorded by a camera crew when she goes out to kill his rivals and its all pitched as a fun and brutal reality show with a star who revels in the thrill of the hunt. Niffty loves her craft and is extremely skilled, but is becoming burnt out. She suffers from an addiction to amphetamines to keep up her 'high energy camera persona'. (When exhausted she just ends up freezing out and staring into the camera ala the gag in the show.)

Niffty is ambivalent about redemption, but likes to stay at the hotel cause she likes Al and Husk, and because it gives her a break from work.

Charlie: A former human who made a deal with Lucifer so she could come down to hell and try to help the undeserving sinners there. She is absolutely ecstatic about the hotel and is all but overbearing in trying to help Alastor achieve his goal.

Vaggie: A sinner who went to hell for her 'extremely violent tendencies', despite the fact that all her actions were in the protection of herself and family/home. Charlie found her in the aftermath of a territory dispute, and after helping her/hearing about her backstory, all but glued Vaggie to her side. Vaggie doesn't believe in redemption, due to her guilt/shame over her violent past, but is dragged along by Charlie.

Angeldust:

Charlie's mysterious and excitable friend. Angel loves a good 'naughty boy' and doesn't so much as clean, but rather struts about posing in whatever meido costume he likes for the day. Charlie knows his past and is the reason he works at the hotel. She thinks he is a good candidate for redemption. Angel doesn't really care either way and is just happy for a shit easy job that he can dress up cute for and slack off all he likes!

I don't know when, but I might come back to this roleswap idea in the future and expand out other swaps!